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What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 22 Feb 2023, 08:33
by Olga Markova
One episode of Mark Victor Hansen's childhood described in Relentless is that he and his brother once unwittingly blew up their mum's favourite new birdbath with a cherry bomb. The parents, in my view, reacted stoically - the mum called the boys into the house, and the parents banned cherry bombs for them. What would you do if your children blew up your favourite birdbath?
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 22 Feb 2023, 10:11
by Christine Palmer
That was a different time for sure. I would be having more conversations about fire safety and those boys would not have any unsupervised time for quite a while until they can be trusted more.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 22 Feb 2023, 12:43
by Olga Markova
ReviewsByChristine wrote: ↑22 Feb 2023, 10:11
That was a different time for sure. I would be having more conversations about fire safety and those boys would not have any unsupervised time for quite a while until they can be trusted more.
I agree. The episode called up my memory when my dad came from a business trip and brought me a present - a huge rubber - one of those for rubbing off pencil marks on drawings (and walls
). It was huge, the size of a piece of soap. Different times of course, more than four decades ago. Good rubbers were soft, and the way we were testing rubbers for softness was by bending them. So I bent it, and at that moment I stood behind my mum who was obstructing the view of my dad. I raised my hand to show my dad how soft the rubber was, lost the grip of the tensely bent rubber, and it catapulted from my hand and hit my mum full on, on the back of her head. Mum had a mixed - but stoic! - reaction, that left my dad and me laughing to tears (I still do as I recall this moment!), and then mum did confiscate my rubber, and told my dad and me that she was going to evict us to live in a desert - safe for her and everyone!
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 22 Feb 2023, 13:18
by Meghan Sica
I would definitely be upset and my children would have consequences. Cherry bombs would not be allowed in the house. They would be grounded and required to work such as doing chores to earn money for a new bird bath.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 24 Feb 2023, 11:59
by Christine Palmer
I argue throwing an eraser and using cherry bombs are very different. Simple curiosity and an accidental throw is not the same as blowing things up!
Olga Markova wrote: ↑22 Feb 2023, 12:43
ReviewsByChristine wrote: ↑22 Feb 2023, 10:11
That was a different time for sure. I would be having more conversations about fire safety and those boys would not have any unsupervised time for quite a while until they can be trusted more.
I agree. The episode called up my memory when my dad came from a business trip and brought me a present - a huge rubber - one of those for rubbing off pencil marks on drawings (and walls
). It was huge, the size of a piece of soap. Different times of course, more than four decades ago. Good rubbers were soft, and the way we were testing rubbers for softness was by bending them. So I bent it, and at that moment I stood behind my mum who was obstructing the view of my dad. I raised my hand to show my dad how soft the rubber was, lost the grip of the tensely bent rubber, and it catapulted from my hand and hit my mum full on, on the back of her head. Mum had a mixed - but stoic! - reaction, that left my dad and me laughing to tears (I still do as I recall this moment!), and then mum did confiscate my rubber, and told my dad and me that she was going to evict us to live in a desert - safe for her and everyone!
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 24 Feb 2023, 14:21
by Olga Markova
ReviewsByChristine wrote: ↑24 Feb 2023, 11:59
I argue throwing an eraser and using cherry bombs are very different. Simple curiosity and an accidental throw is not the same as blowing things up!
I agree, Christine - just I am fascinated with what both had in common - both happened unintentionally and unwittingly, and the parents reacted the same way - decades and thousands of miles away from each other - Mark and his brother did not target the birdbath, and I did not target my mum's head with my soap-bar-size eraser - we were all simply enjoying our gifts as best as we could. The boys did not expect the birdbath to be blown up, and I did not expect the bent eraser to catapult and ram full-on into my mum's head. And then Mark's mum banned the fireworks, and mine confiscated the eraser. Looks like an example of common consciousness - and the message is "beware upsetting the parents with their own gifts!"
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 24 Feb 2023, 14:33
by Timothy Rucinski
As a parent, you should expect that your kids, at some point along the way, will do something so amazingly stupid that you'll wonder if they are actually yours. I can remember a few things that I pulled on my parents and a few things that my children pulled on me. But you need to take situations like these in the right spirit. If it were me, my first inclination would be to bust a gasket. But I think once everything calmed down, I'd probably end up in a fit of laughter, especially since no one was seriously hurt. Indeed, they'd have to make up for the damage in some way or another, such as community service around the house or a payment plan for partial reparations. All in all, I think the Hansens handled the situation appropriately for them.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 25 Feb 2023, 05:06
by B Sheila Holt
I agree with others above, when my children (who managed to live through these years of doing things just like these and actually lived unhurt by me, to adulthood! Lol!!….) would do these exact types of unexpected property damaging accidents as they were experimenting with life, we would teach them that they now had to find ways (I.e. chores, use saved up allowances, written notes, etc…) to fix what they had damaged. Plus give a sincere apology. They also knew we still loved them, even though things happened as they were playing, but their faulty actions that led to damages still need to be dealt with.
They soon learned to play and explore, but to be much more careful.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 26 Feb 2023, 01:34
by Pauline Parnell
Firstly, I guess I would be shocked at the destruction of it all. Then I would wish to reprimand them for their stupidity and advised them to clean up the mess. Afterwards, I would definitely use it as a teaching moment to explain the dos and don'ts. Children apply what they learn in their daily lives, thus parents' responses to their kids are crucial.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 26 Feb 2023, 07:15
by Stephanie Elizabeth
Like many of the other commenters, there would have been much more of a discussion about safety, respect, and rhere would be more consequences.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 27 Feb 2023, 09:15
by Christine Palmer
When my children (current toddlers) pull amazingly stupid stuff in the future, that isn't when I will wonder if they are actually mine. That is when I will know for sure they didn't fall very far from the tree
Mstrtim wrote: ↑24 Feb 2023, 14:33
As a parent, you should expect that your kids, at some point along the way, will do something so amazingly stupid that you'll wonder if they are actually yours. I can remember a few things that I pulled on my parents and a few things that my children pulled on me. But you need to take situations like these in the right spirit. If it were me, my first inclination would be to bust a gasket. But I think once everything calmed down, I'd probably end up in a fit of laughter, especially since no one was seriously hurt. Indeed, they'd have to make up for the damage in some way or another, such as community service around the house or a payment plan for partial reparations. All in all, I think the Hansens handled the situation appropriately for them.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 02 Mar 2023, 04:25
by Sushan Ekanayake
If your children blew up your favourite birdbath, it could be an opportunity to teach them about responsibility and consequences. It's important to calmly explain to them why what they did was wrong and how it affected you, and then have them work to make it right, such as helping to clean up the mess or saving up money to replace the birdbath. It's also important to set clear boundaries and consequences for their actions to prevent similar incidents from happening in the future.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 03 Mar 2023, 02:45
by Ebele Ekelobi
I will most likely do something similar to what the parents did. I'll ban cherry bombs for them, but additionally, they'll be under supervision for a very long time.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 03 Mar 2023, 11:15
by Bef Ozo
I will be sad and probably scold them but I will always keep in mind that they're children and probably have no idea about what they're doing. I will just do my best to address the issue with love.
Re: What would you do if your children cherry-bomb your favourite birdbath?
Posted: 05 Mar 2023, 19:31
by Anna_Hernandez
I agree that the parents' reaction was low-key and understated.
If these were my children, I would have initially remained calm and would have ordered them to the house to avoid saying something I might regret later. However, they would be grounded until Thanksgiving or Christmas at least, and they would have to build or buy me a new favorite birdbath. Lastly, I would make it clear that they are not allowed to touch even a sparkler until they move out of the house.
All this would have been laid out in a solid, loud rant about 'lack of safety' and 'what made them think it would all be okay'. Their father would also be present and the same rules apply to him, the firework purchasing would cease immediately and all remaining fireworks would be given to another family.