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When Addison was preparing for school, she knew people would want to know what made her do 'it'. If you've heard of, seen, or come in contact with someone who has attempted suicide, do you feel curious about what made them do it or do you wish you could have been there for them? A student hang himself in his room in our school this year and I felt like maybe his friends were not keen enough to realize what he was going through and I had a sense of guilt that maybe if I was his friend this wouldn't have happened. Do you feel the same? What do you think about this issue?

I think that it is important for people who have been affected by another's suicide to be reassured that it was not their fault. Living with the feeling of guilt for what someone else did is unhealthy. I think the author addressed this issue wisely in her book.

I always hope that if I noticed the signs I would reach out to someone and remind them they are not alone. In a typical day, I try to smile and say hi to anyone I run into whether at the grocery store or wherever…you never know when a smile or a simple conversation will help someone feel noticed. It’s harder to make eye contact with teens but the elderly always seem happy to have someone to chat with even for a few minutes.

I think I will feel curious, but if that person is not close enough I will never ask, because I won't be sure if that person will feel ok about expressing themselves to others.

Yes I'm definitely curious about the why, I think it's part of human nature. Thing is even if you where his friend you most probably wouldn't have known his struggles. People who commit suicide are normally masters in hiding their feelings or for not taking about what's troubling them. I've noticed over the years that alot of times the person who commits suicide are sometimes the life of a party, the 'care-free' one, the funny one. I think that's why it's such a shock when it does happen, cause it was never expected. Please don't feel guilty for not being there or not noticing something was wrong.

If someone I knew attempted a suicide attempt, I would want to know as much as possible so that I could work to make them feel more comfortable. It is definitely hard to not wonder what could have been done to prevent these issues and feelings, but ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure that the victim can heal as comfortably as possible.

I find myself not being curious but rather respectful toward that individual's privacy. As a suicide survivor, I understand the guilt and shame that comes with trying to take your own life. From my experience, I appreciated when people didn't ask or speculate as to the "why" of my actions and I enjoyed that they respected me and were simply there for me with no other motive.

I think it's part of human nature to ask "why" and be curious. I am a survivor myself and I felt comfortable telling a select few people, but only on my terms. If I wasn't ready to talk and open up then I simply wouldn't;t until I felt comfortable. I also loved when people respected my privacy and didn't make me feel like I had to explain.

Alice Fu wrote: ↑17 Jul 2023, 00:40 If someone I knew attempted a suicide attempt, I would want to know as much as possible so that I could work to make them feel more comfortable. It is definitely hard to not wonder what could have been done to prevent these issues and feelings, but ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure that the victim can heal as comfortably as possible.

During my internship in medical school, a fellow student attempted suicide by jumping off his hostel room window. He survived but ended up fracturing both his femurs. It turned out that he was in a very dark place due to the harsh environment in the orthopaedic department, known for bullying and overworking interns. He was overwhelmed with the workload and had been doing night shifts for nearly a week, feeling incredibly lonely. I felt terrible for him because I had gone through a similar depressing experience during my surgery rotation. I wished I had reached out to him, but unfortunately, these thoughts and situations often don't come to mind until it's too late.

Diana Lowery wrote: ↑13 Jul 2023, 14:26 I think that it is important for people who have been affected by another's suicide to be reassured that it was not their fault. Living with the feeling of guilt for what someone else did is unhealthy. I think the author addressed this issue wisely in her book.

I agree 100%. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility to “save” someone from suicide. Whenever possible, you should absolutely try to help them and do what you can to prevent them from taking their life if that is an option, but suicide is ultimately the choice of the person taking their life, not anyone else’s.

Inked_Rebel_Reads wrote: ↑17 Jul 2023, 10:48 I think it's part of human nature to ask "why" and be curious. I am a survivor myself and I felt comfortable telling a select few people, but only on my terms. If I wasn't ready to talk and open up then I simply wouldn't;t until I felt comfortable. I also loved when people respected my privacy and didn't make me feel like I had to explain.

Alice Fu wrote: ↑17 Jul 2023, 00:40 If someone I knew attempted a suicide attempt, I would want to know as much as possible so that I could work to make them feel more comfortable. It is definitely hard to not wonder what could have been done to prevent these issues and feelings, but ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure that the victim can heal as comfortably as possible.

I can imagine that would be difficult to go through after already having a difficult situation. I am glad you survived. It’s helpful to hear from people like you so those who have not been through it can know how to make survivors as comfortable as possible in an uncomfortable situation.

Yeah it's stems alot of curiosity but then I will also feel very uncomfortable asking all the questions on my mind. Especially when we aren't so close.

I think it's natural to feel curious in such a situation. It's what you do with that curiosity that matters. Like, if you wanna know to avoid something like that happening to someone else, then that's great. But gossiping about is something that'll get you thrown in hell.

Inked_Rebel_Reads wrote: ↑17 Jul 2023, 10:48 I think it's part of human nature to ask "why" and be curious. I am a survivor myself and I felt comfortable telling a select few people, but only on my terms. If I wasn't ready to talk and open up then I simply wouldn't;t until I felt comfortable. I also loved when people respected my privacy and didn't make me feel like I had to explain.

Alice Fu wrote: ↑17 Jul 2023, 00:40 If someone I knew attempted a suicide attempt, I would want to know as much as possible so that I could work to make them feel more comfortable. It is definitely hard to not wonder what could have been done to prevent these issues and feelings, but ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure that the victim can heal as comfortably as possible.

Goodness, I'm so glad you survived. Yes, I agree that let them feel they are comfortable sharing it.

i am not sure which is the best way to go about it, but I would act as if nothing happened, because I know a lot of people would ask her or him alot of question or try to overy sympethize with her to a degree that would make him or her uncomfortable, and maybe she or her are just trying to go back to being normal. I have never met experienced this kind of trauma but I think what makes aperson go there is the feeling helplessness like there is no other way out, and it is partly his enviroment's fault and the people in his life and closeset to him who are supposed to provide an envirement that promotes self worthyness and love.