The Grownups

This is the July 2023 Book of the Month discussion forum. Use this forum to discuss the July 2023 Book of the Month, "Swimming in a Sea of Stars" by Julie Wright.
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MsH2k
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The Grownups

Post by MsH2k »

Grownups are supposed to protect the children in their lives, but bad things still happen. Sometimes an adult uses bad judgment, and the child suffers. But even if an adult is diligent and does their best to provide a safe and loving environment, stuff happens anyway.

I admired how Booker’s family responded to Seb’s diagnosis. When I was a teenager, one of my favorite cousins died. She had been sick, but I did not know she was THAT sick. I found out unexpectedly from one of my friends while I was away at camp. My aunt and uncle hid the severity of her illness from the rest of the family. I wish we could have given my cousin the support and love that Seb received.

What was an example of an adult in a character’s home whose situation or actions you admired--or at least sympathized with?
"Knowing what must be done does away with fear."
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Sarah Zain
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Post by Sarah Zain »

MsH2k wrote: 10 Aug 2023, 18:03 Grownups are supposed to protect the children in their lives, but bad things still happen. Sometimes an adult uses bad judgment, and the child suffers. But even if an adult is diligent and does their best to provide a safe and loving environment, stuff happens anyway.

I admired how Booker’s family responded to Seb’s diagnosis. When I was a teenager, one of my favorite cousins died. She had been sick, but I did not know she was THAT sick. I found out unexpectedly from one of my friends while I was away at camp. My aunt and uncle hid the severity of her illness from the rest of the family. I wish we could have given my cousin the support and love that Seb received.

What was an example of an adult in a character’s home whose situation or actions you admired--or at least sympathized with?
I understand your point MsH2k. I still feel satisfied because my mother told me about my grandma's illness. I was young, and I didn't know she was so sick until one day, when my mom told me grandma was hospitalized, I went and visited her. I sat down and talked to her. After a little while, she passed away. As much as this was heartbreaking,  I felt I was there for her. I had the chance to meet and talk to her for the last time, and for that I will always feel gratitude.
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Post by Cathryn Gorlinsky »

MsH2k wrote: 10 Aug 2023, 18:03 Grownups are supposed to protect the children in their lives, but bad things still happen. Sometimes an adult uses bad judgment, and the child suffers. But even if an adult is diligent and does their best to provide a safe and loving environment, stuff happens anyway.

I admired how Booker’s family responded to Seb’s diagnosis. When I was a teenager, one of my favorite cousins died. She had been sick, but I did not know she was THAT sick. I found out unexpectedly from one of my friends while I was away at camp. My aunt and uncle hid the severity of her illness from the rest of the family. I wish we could have given my cousin the support and love that Seb received.

What was an example of an adult in a character’s home whose situation or actions you admired--or at least sympathized with?
I had a similar experience growing up. Even though I was relatively young at the time, I wish I had been told sooner so that I could treasure more moments, knowing there was an expiration date.
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Shirley Ann Riddern Labzentis
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Post by Shirley Ann Riddern Labzentis »

When I was sixteen, my father died of lung cancer. They kept the fact that he had terminal cancer from me. I thought he was in the hospital for pneumonia, so he died, and I never got to sit down and talk with him. I wasn't prepared for his death and that he was never coming home again. I held a grudge against my family for a long time.
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Post by Anthony Ekemezie »

I think adults keeping the severity of an illness of their child from people is mostly to protect the child from something called too much pity from everyone. Everyone is always trying to do the most around them, and I don't think it's proper. U feel it makes them feel bad for themselves and their situation.
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Post by RJ Reviews »

Sometimes, keeping things from children is important to protect their innocence. Not all children can handle the stressful news of an impending death. They may feel helpless and depressed.
Some children are capable of handling such situations with composure and thus it should be the grown-ups job to assess the child and determine the course of action.
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Post by Samina Moiyadi »

I never had an experience of a child in my family going through trouble physically or mentally. Old people? Yes! My grandfather's death came as a shock to me. Infact to everyone in the family. He was so healthy that no one knew that he was 85+ when he died. The nurse at the hospital filled his age as 85. But my mother and uncles talked to us kids a lot to help us get out of the shock.
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Post by Omneya Shakeep »

I think transparency is very important between family members, as it's the only way they can be there for each other.My mom has a heart condition, so some days she is in good shape, and other days she needs rest. She keeps hiding how tired and sick she is on those days to keep us from being worried about her, but it just infuriates me because then I can't be there for her when she needs me the most.
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Post by Jennifer Coxon »

I think there is a time when it can be appropriate to not know the full story, but I'm talking only a very young age at that point. The severity should be conveyed in the best way possible to help the child prepare, but they don't need to know the details at too young an age as that severity is enough to try to comprehend.
I think Addison’s mum did a good job in trying not to smother Addidon. She was worried to death but tried to allow Addison to take back control of her life while bending over backwards to be a support net.
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Post by Dauria04 »

I am sorry to hear that you went through that experience. I too was impressed by Booker's family and the way they supported Seb during his illness. Another adult who I felt rose to the occasion was Avery's father. It was heartwarming to read about how he played with his grandson.
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Post by MsH2k »

Dauria04 wrote: 29 Sep 2023, 08:29 I am sorry to hear that you went through that experience. I too was impressed by Booker's family and the way they supported Seb during his illness. Another adult who I felt rose to the occasion was Avery's father. It was heartwarming to read about how he played with his grandson.
Yes, it was sweet how Avery's father bonded with his grandson. I was concerned about how he would react to the news. It's great seeing you, Dauria04! :greetings-waveyellow:
"Knowing what must be done does away with fear."
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Post by Chimezie Agbata »

Most time I think one has to take though decisions in difficult times to keep a loved one safe. My best friend had a very serious health challenge but kept it away from me because of how worried i would get I may have left school to be with him. I am glad he is okay now and maybe he was right about keeping it away for a while maybe to avoid unnecessary pity.
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Post by Kigen Valarie »

In the book, I love how Addison's mother tried her best to be supportive. We cannot be perfect. She tried her best being there for her and even taking her to school when she was running late for work. In my life as at the moment I can't think of an exceptional moment but I know there are. However, as an adult I doubt if I'm handling things as required but it's okay anyway. I believe we learn as we grow.
Life will go whichever way. Changing it is up to a very powerful force :|
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Post by Ivy_Nesty28 »

I believe that adults also make mistakes. I used to blame my family when anything bad happens, but this is their first time as an adult too, so mistakes do happen. Sometimes families over protect their children which causes a whole deal of trouble for the kids. I do wish that families would create a safe environment for the children to open up about any of their troubles.
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Post by Buikem Kasia »

I admired how strong Addison's mother was throughout the entire ordeal. I can't imagine how bad she felt after her daughter attempted to end her life.
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