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“The difference between wishing and hope is that wishing is passive and hope is active. Wishing actually undermines one’s chances of success. Wishing is associated with resignation. When we’re confused or overwhelmed, a common defense mechanism is to withdraw emotionally and hope the problem will just go away. But that’s not really hope; in fact, it’s the opposite of hope. It’s denial.”

— Fireproof Happiness : Extinguishing Anxiety & Igniting Hope by Dr. Randy Ross
https://amzn.eu/hfV5FNP

Have you ever found yourself in this situation, hoping for something, but in reality, you're just in denial?

I think I often find myself at this point in the beginning. Something is going wrong and I'm hoping for things to change, but in reality, I'm not doing anything about it except for wishing. I had never thought of this being denial, but it makes perfect sense. I do quickly move on to deciding to actively do something about the situation, but it's quite regular that I will be passive at first.

Hope is a difficult thing. To hope is to have expectations, to want something that might or might not happen. Nevertheless, to hope is to live. To strive and keep on trying and it will be worth it even if it breaks your heart a little.

"It was like dying a little every day. It was like being alive, too. It was joy so complete it was pain. It destroyed me and unmade me and forged me. I hated it, because I knew I couldn’t escape it, and knew it would forever change me."
-----Sarah. J Maas

Hope can be tricky and the author clearly explained how to use it as an instrument to help our efforts and avoid using it as a denial of a situation that's actually hopeless or at least pointless.

The author provided clear instructions on how to utilize hope as a tool to support our efforts rather than as a means of denying a situation that is, in reality, hopeless or, at the very least, meaningless. Hope can be a tough concept.

My hope always comes when I desperately want to achieve something, and I often feel its presence with determination. Unlike wishing, it often comes when I know that something is a little out of reach. Perhaps this is close to what the author means here, and in both cases happiness is in the desire to continue, not just in wishing .

I agree that wishing is much more passive than hope. Hope comes with action. Hope, to me, is akin to faith and faith without work is often dead. So I agree with the author. I also practice the same in my life. Anything I hope for, I try to work hard for and hope the universe acts in my favor.

Reading this book has had me question a lot about myself. I used to use wish and hope interchangeably, but now I see that they're not the same. During the pandemic, many people around me were really suffering and found it hard to adjust to the stringent rules. In my case, I took it all in my stride and in the end, my life became better for it. It turns out I had 'hope' that it would end. I didn't realise it at the time, but now I do.

To answer your question, Jennifer, I think I'm more of a 'hoper' than a 'wisher' as I prefer to confront things head-on with a view to resolution rather than just 'wish it away'.

There's a fine line between hope and denial and I often find myself at the wrong end of it. This book made me realise that and I believe I'll be more conscious of the difference between hope and denial from now on.

I am about halfway through this book, and so far, it has helped me immensely. I didn't realize the difference between hope and wish, but I do now. I don't think I am ever in denial concerning anything, but I will look into that and reassess my life. I am always hopeful, but sometimes, being hopeful is painful because you hope for things that don't manifest.

I think this is a constant state of mind of a lot of people who are dreamers but at the same time procrastinators. Dreaming is easy, but then making your dream a reality is a whole other thing. Makes the world that much harder.

I’m much of a “night” daydreamer myself, whereby in the night, I analyze my day and look at every aspect that could have gone the way I wanted, and create a world in my head where those events actually occurred to my fancy. After tackling the day, I tackle the next day, and if I have a big thing coming up, something I really need good fortune to succeed win, I play out the events continuously from after I’ve won, so many times that by the time I sleep I’ve already crossed that hurdle and I’ve succeeded in whatever I wanted to do the next day. This is before it even happens. What will you call that? Hope, wishful thinking, or unconsciously programming reality by changing it first in my head, then in real life

I find it a little confusing to differentiate between the two most of the time. The book gave me a little more understanding of them.

I usually actively look for ways to make what I am "hoping" for happen. It's good to see the difference between wishing and hoping. I hadn't really thought about it that way previously.

I appreciate that the author defines hope as an active rather than passive response. Burying ones head in the sand and hoping something changes IS denial. Totally agreed! As painful as it is, we have to take action to make things change. Easy example - I commute into a city for work a few days per week. One evening, I was on another planet mentally, and I left my laptop on my work desk in the city. I got home 45 minutes later and went, "DOH!" Denial Emily would have thrown herself into bed and hoped that her laptop would magically transport itself to her. Hope Emily had to take some action - by getting in the car and DRIVING BACK TO THE OFFICE.

It was a stinker, that's for sure. But action made it happen.

I've never been in such situation where I had to fold my hands and let things be done. I always put in.work, and then wish or hope it goes well.