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Hope is often mistaken for simply wishful thinking. The difference between wishing and hope is that wishing is passive and hope is active. Wishing actually undermines one’s chances of success.

Can someone here actually explain what Dr. Randy means when he says Wishing undermines one’s chances of success? He goes on to say that wishing is associated with resignation, but do you fully agree with that? I think some people put in some work into something, and wish, or hope, it meets their expectations. What do you think?

Oleabhiele Joseph wrote: ↑09 Dec 2023, 16:18 Hope is often mistaken for simply wishful thinking. The difference between wishing and hope is that wishing is passive and hope is active. Wishing actually undermines one’s chances of success.

Can someone here actually explain what Dr. Randy means when he says Wishing undermines one’s chances of success? He goes on to say that wishing is associated with resignation, but do you fully agree with that? I think some people put in some work into something, and wish, or hope, it meets their expectations. What do you think?

Hi,Oleabhiele, I agree with you that one can put work into something and wish or hope that it meets their expectations. On the other hand, I think that simply wishing or hoping for your expectations to be met without putting in the work can be associated with resignation. I understood from the author, that putting in the work implies staying active until the expectation is met. Or failing that, pivoting and working in another direction to meet the desired expectation. As soon as you give up, sigh, and say I wish things were different that is when resignation sets in. I appreciate that you posed this question. Have a good day.

I agree with you on this. Just as you have stated that wishing is passive and hope is active, so also does it apply to life. People take on tasks, and risks, and hope/wish that it goes according to plan so it's no always associated with resignation.

Gerry Steen wrote: ↑10 Dec 2023, 16:53

Oleabhiele Joseph wrote: ↑09 Dec 2023, 16:18 Hope is often mistaken for simply wishful thinking. The difference between wishing and hope is that wishing is passive and hope is active. Wishing actually undermines one’s chances of success.

Can someone here actually explain what Dr. Randy means when he says Wishing undermines one’s chances of success? He goes on to say that wishing is associated with resignation, but do you fully agree with that? I think some people put in some work into something, and wish, or hope, it meets their expectations. What do you think?

Hi,Oleabhiele, I agree with you that one can put work into something and wish or hope that it meets their expectations. On the other hand, I think that simply wishing or hoping for your expectations to be met without putting in the work can be associated with resignation. I understood from the author, that putting in the work implies staying active until the expectation is met. Or failing that, pivoting and working in another direction to meet the desired expectation. As soon as you give up, sigh, and say I wish things were different that is when resignation sets in. I appreciate that you posed this question. Have a good day.

Thanks for answering this, Gerry. I dwelt on it more, and I realized that when we use the word “wish” most times there’s no specific action attached to that wish. So wishing is like hoping for something you didn’t do, to bring results you don’t really merit, sowing what you didn’t reap. Hope on the other hand, is specially attached to a particular action, like sowing a seed and hoping it grows into a tree. I think I have a better idea of the differences between “Hope” and “wish, or wishful thinking.” Thanks once again for your answer.

Hi, Oleabhiele, You now have the gist of it! You are welcome. Have a great day.

This post reminded me of a conversation I recently had with a friend who went on and on about how he "wished" he could draw, as he was previously a good drawer. When I questioned why he didn't take it up again, he didn't say much but he simply hammered on how he "wished" he could draw, his wishes never accounted for the effort it would take to get there... Fast-forward to now, I know better the distinction between wishing and hoping.

Wish and hope can, sometimes, be interchangeable. Though that doesn't apply for all, it certainly does to some. We probably wish first, ponder over that wish for a while before becoming hopeful that it may come true one day. In my personal opinion, wishing is the first stage of garnering hope. Can there really be any hope if we don't wish for it initially? I don't think so.
It is my personal opinion and others may not agree.

Engaging in tasks and taking risks are active steps that people undertake, and hope is the active, optimistic anticipation that these efforts will lead to favorable outcomes. It's a forward-looking and proactive mindset, rather than a passive resignation to fate.

I think that I can understand the author's point. Wishing implies just sitting back and believing that something will happen if you just "wish" hard enough. Hope seems to me to mean that you can see the end result, but know that in order for it to happen takes some kind of effort on your part.

The author is kind of right. When we wish for something, we usually resign it to fate or some magical thinking that we will get what we want. Whereas, being hopeful usually comes after hardwork and perseverance. I do think sometimes wishing and hoping need to be together for us to get what we want and be happy with it.

I agree with the author when he asserts, "Wishing is associated with resignation."

To illustrate this perspective, consider the following example:

When I say, "I hope I can be as good as her in dancing," it implies a commitment to putting in effort to reach her level someday.

On the other hand, if I say, "I wish I was as good as her in dancing," it suggests that I've already accepted my current skill level and perhaps resigned myself that I may never attain her level of proficiency in this lifetime.

We commonly link hope and wish together, but it's when we place them side by side that the term "wish" emerges, signifying the acknowledgment that what one desires may be unattainable. Allowing feelings of despair about unexplored possibilities can be limiting, preventing individuals from pursuing their goals and potentially leaving them with nothing in the end.

Dr. Randy's statement suggests that wishing, when devoid of active effort or commitment, may undermine success. The idea is that passive wishes lack the proactive engagement and determination that hope entails. Hope, in this context, implies a more dynamic and involved mindset, often accompanied by concrete actions.

While some people may combine work with wishes or hopes, Dr. Randy seems to emphasize the importance of active participation in the pursuit of success. Wishing without taking tangible steps might be associated with resignation if it reflects a lack of belief in one's ability to influence outcomes through actions.

Individual perspectives on this may vary. Some might argue that meaningful efforts are essential alongside hope, while others might contend that a strong commitment to action renders mere wishes less relevant. It's a nuanced discussion about the interplay between mindset, effort, and the likelihood of achieving desired outcomes.

Oleabhiele Joseph wrote: ↑09 Dec 2023, 16:18 Hope is often mistaken for simply wishful thinking. The difference between wishing and hope is that wishing is passive and hope is active. Wishing actually undermines one’s chances of success.

Can someone here actually explain what Dr. Randy means when he says Wishing undermines one’s chances of success? He goes on to say that wishing is associated with resignation, but do you fully agree with that? I think some people put in some work into something, and wish, or hope, it meets their expectations. What do you think?

I think that he says this because wishing is passive. When you wish for something, you are simply wanting it to happen without putting in any effort to make it happen. Hope, on the other hand, is wanting something to happen and putting in the work to make it happen. Throughout the book, he says that hope needs goals and a purpose. When you make a wish, you do not have those. I think of it as making a wish on a birthday candle. You just wish for it and do not do anything about it. This would undermine your success because you do not do anything to be successful after making the wish. Great question!

He explained this so well in the book. I'd summarize it in one sentence; Hope is active. Hope involves having a plan and strategy towards accomplishing the stuff we wish to accomplish.