Official Review: A Life of Passion by William Tasker

HoneyB · Post by **HoneyB** » 28 Dec 2014, 23:03

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "A Life of Passion" by William Tasker.]

1 out of 4 stars

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A Life of Passion: Anything You Want by William Tasker is book one of an erotic short story. It is about a passionate fantasy he plans to have. Life didn't turn out as planned and “Billy” finds himself thinking about the girl of his future. After spending his 20's engaged in promiscuous affairs and his 30's settling down with a wife and family, he finds himself single and looking for passion in his 40's.

The story begins with what I perceived to have been the end of a date. It turns into a night of passion between two co-workers when she asks to come inside. What I liked most was that the author completed the story. It's short, but shows great initiative. It takes guts to put some of your innermost thoughts into words and put those words out there for others to read. I say that because it sounds to me like a personal story. It starts out with a recap of the last twenty years of the authors life, as a non-fictional story might, but moves forward as a fictional story about the passion envisioned in the authors future. Admittedly, that was a little confusing to me, but that's the beauty of artistic license. The author did a good job of maintaining a consistent theme.

Now, here's where I talk about what I liked least. Grammatical and spelling errors littered the entire book and a good proof reading job before submitting it for review would have gone a long way in correcting some of those mistakes. Nothing will take away from a story like reading errors. I could never fully engage in the story because of the many, many mistakes. Several sentences didn't make sense because they didn't read properly. An example would be using “fells” when “fills” is the word the author was looking for. Another error was “left her foot” when I'm sure “lift her foot” is what was meant. These kind of mistakes may not be caught by a spell checker, so always go back over your writing again to avoid simple mistakes.

Additionally, commas were lacking, and most of the lines where quotation marks were used had errors. I'd like to suggest starting a new paragraph each time the dialog changes from one character to another. It cuts down on confusion for the reader. Also, over describing (his left hand was here, and his right hand was there) can distort the story. I'd suggest more colorful descriptions to captivate readers and paint a picture in their minds without over using the same words. It makes the book flat and dull to re-read the same thing.

I would love to have read more analogies like this one: “The twitches get closer and closer together as I feel my body start to tingle and hum like that of a million bees.” That was a great line. It tells me that this writer has the potential to write more like it, and will improve with practice. This story isn't ready for publication, but was more of a rough draft that needs reworking. I rate this book 1 out of 4 stars. If I'd read the exact same story, but without the spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors, my rating would have been higher.

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A Life of Passion
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ananya92 · Post by **ananya92** » 14 Jan 2015, 21:58

That's true, nothing dissuades a reader from reading a book, more than grammatical errors. Still it seems that the story is interesting. Nice review.

HoneyB · Post by **HoneyB** » 14 Jan 2015, 23:00

ananya92 - You are the first to give me feedback (ever, since I'm also new), so thank you so much!

gali · Post by **gali** » 14 Jan 2015, 23:20

I'll be the second then.

Thank you for the nice review. Too bad about the grammatical errors.

ejcogan · Post by **ejcogan** » 15 Jan 2015, 00:31

Great review! Very thorough. I like all your advice to the author and I completely agree. It is hard to connect with the characters when there are grammatical errors.

HoneyB · Post by **HoneyB** » 15 Jan 2015, 11:26

gali wrote:I'll be the second then.

Thank you for the nice review. Too bad about the grammatical errors.

Thank you!
Your endorsement is encouraging. I hope to try another one soon.

-- 15 Jan 2015, 12:10 --

ejcogan wrote:Great review! Very thorough. I like all your advice to the author and I completely agree. It is hard to connect with the characters when there are grammatical errors.

Thank you for the feedback!