OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "So Into Her" by D. L. Yoder.]

Marty, an employee at Kressigg’s Technical Expertise, finds himself on the run when the company is compromised and the invention he was working on becomes a must-have item for those with less-than-stellar intentions. The company’s project had aimed to improve the lives of wounded warriors. However, the device’s intended function shifted when Marty tampered with it during the testing phase. Having had the device on when it malfunctioned, Marty discovered the device had somewhat altered his brain, leaving him with an interesting but disturbing ability—an ability that left those close to him questioning his sanity for a time while complicating his love life. On the other side, Yakeisha, the woman who had tried warning Marty of the imminent danger lurking around him, finds herself mixed up in the battle for the device and being used as a pawn. Will Yakeisha make it out in one piece and be able to resume her normal life after all this? What will become of the device and Marty?

Have you ever read a book with a promising storyline and a great concept only to be disappointed by the execution? The first book in a trilogy, So Into Her by D. L. Yoder, is presented as a romance novel but reads more like a thriller with attempted romance.

I enjoy reading thrillers, and this book was no different—it had a number of moments where the story got exciting, intense, and fast-paced. A good portion of the story was weighed down by the author’s writing style and what seemed like the consistent need to tell the story at every turn. For example, the author would repeatedly use descriptive dialogue tags to tell characters emotions/ reactions such as “‘he says in a hopeful voice,’ ‘in a sympathetic note,’ or ‘the blonde man says incredulously,’” etc. This didn’t work for me and took me out of the story. Additionally, the characters would often state in the dialogues what they intended on doing, which was often followed by a description of the same. On top of that, the dialogues between the female protagonist and the criminals felt unnatural where conversations with those characters often seemed to go off on a tangent.

One of the elements I really liked was the effortless sense of humor injected into parts of the narrative. I particularly found Marty’s self-talk and anxieties about ending up with Carol from accounting hilarious. In addition, the speedy car chase had me on my edge of sit and quickly turning pages. I also appreciated the vivid descriptions of the characters. I especially liked that the backstories added depth not only to the characters including the criminals but also the company and device, which, at some points, seemed like characters in their own right. Lastly, the plot twist towards the end added an interesting element to the story. I also liked the shock factor of the unexpected twist and turns.

Though the story is mainly written in third person, the story shifts to first person (alternating viewpoints between that of Yakeisha and Marty) early in the narrative. This stylistic choice didn’t seem necessary or well-executed because all it did was reiterate the same events from the two characters perspectives, which made the narrative feel repetitive and slow. This also helped kill the suspense due to the repeated versions of the same event.

Another downside of this novel is that the romance wasn’t really believable nor was I ever moved or felt a connection with the characters’ interactions enough to care whether they ended up together or not. The fact that they did get together in the first place was not heartwarming, as it felt rigid and devoid of genuine feeling. There also seemed to be unrealistically quick resolutions to issues the couples faced.

Some characters unnecessarily prolonged the story, especially towards the end of the book. For example, Emily’s story ended up fitting in with the narrative, however, it seemed over the top to elaborate her encounter, when a brief mention of what happened to her would have worked just fine.

When it comes to grammar and punctuation, the book was littered with so many errors that it was rather distracting to read. From missing words and punctuation marks to repeated words and misspelled words, the book would greatly benefit from an additional round of editing. What’s worse is the misspelling of character names, .e.g., Mary instead of Marty.
Worst of all was the instances in which the author consistently switched the character’s name Melvin for Marvin as though it was supposed to be funny that other characters called Melvin Marvin. At first, it just seemed like an error, but when I realized later it was intentionally done, I wasn’t impressed. Another issue was the change in tense usage whereby sentences would go for from past to present tense. Everything considered, I cannot rate this book as it is anything more than 2 out of 4 stars.

The narrative does contain some graphic descriptions of violence. For those interested in thrillers, you might want to look into this once a revised version is available.

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So Into Her
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Thanks for your review. It does sound like an interesting plot, but too many errors to attempt to read it in its current state. I would have been unimpressed with the name switching as well.

Just from the title, I would have mistaken this for a romance novel. Thanks for the review, a thriller is quite a step away from romance. However, the plot does seem interesting.

It seems that this was billed as the wrong genre. It's too bad it's riddled with errors as well. Perhaps when it's proofread the author can make sure it reaches the correct audience. Thanks!

I like the noble premise of the gadget of helping wounded soldiers, but I am now concerned with the unintended consequences of the gadget to its creator. It will be a thrill to read. Thanks for the insightful review.

Thank you for the review, I will wait for the revised version. I expected a multi racial romance kind of story. Oh how am I disappointed.

Mixing up character names is a careless error, in my opinion. I have encountered this in a couple of my recent novels. It seems to me that the author was torn between two names, decided on one, and forgot which one he/she decided on. It's very distracting to me because I have to go back and make sure I didn't blank out through the introduction of a new character or something. All of that being said, it seems like this is a good concept, just not well executed. Thank you for your in depth review.

Thanks for the review. I don't like when the author adds descriptive dialog tags to describe feelings, especially if they are overused. I like to enjoy the story to the point that I put myself into it and run with my own emotions. It takes away from the story when someone has to tell me how someone else is feeling or responding to a situation. I was certain that this was a romantic novel based on the title; however, it apparently is not. Based on your review, I will probably not read this book.

Thanks for the review but I found it quite confusing to understand who is who in the zoo.

Thank you for your review. The cover and title looked interesting to me when I thought it was purely a romance. It is tough when grammatical errors interfere with story flow. Hopefully we will see another version from the author later on. At least the author injected a bit of well placed comedy and action into the story. Thank you for the recommendation.

I love reading romance novels, but I guess I will have to pass this one. The title of the book drew my attention to it but after reading the review, I am disappointed. I hope the author will fix all the highlighted issues.

This sounds like it is a promising story, but it missed the mark on the execution. What a shame... thanks for your honest and excellent review!

I did like the story line about the invention and twist the author gives it with the malfunction. It seems like the author tried to include too much material in this first book. This is an excellent analysis of a difficult book. Thanks!

Sounds like an interesting plot. I guessed it to be a romance from the name but the frase" Don't judge a book by it's cover" has come true here I see. Thank you for your honest review.

I honestly thought that this was a romance book, but your review makes it seem more like a thriller. When I read books, I do not like to see a lot of grammatical errors. A few are fine; after all, aren't we all human? But I know what a poorly edited book is like; I had to review one and I was so annoyed with the number of errors!

Based on what you said, So Into Her needs another round of editing to make it an easier read. I sure hope that the author will take this into consideration so that this book gets a better review in the future!