Feedback on my newest articles on poverty blog

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes · Post by **Scott** » 25 Apr 2014, 10:31

I have just recently been dipping my toes back into writing again. I don't mean fiction, but I like to write essays and articles and things like that.

So if you have a few minutes please try reading through my newest article I just published on my World Hunger and Poverty Blog: Sacrifice

If you don't mind all the reading, you can also check out the other article I link to at the bottom of that one, Unhappy and Unsatisfied.

Then, give me some some feedback. It's not a big deal but if you could keep the feedback about the ideas or points in the articles in comments on those articles at the blog and then use this topic here at Online Book Club to post feedback about my writing itself as in like technical feedback, feedback about the style including feedback about structure or grammar and so on. Constructive criticism is most greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

gali · Post by **gali** » 26 Apr 2014, 00:19

I have read the articles and commented on the second one. They were well written and touching. I loved the style of your writing. Thank you for sharing.

hopeingod · Post by **hopeingod** » 18 May 2014, 09:34

I read the first one. The sentiment is good, but the reality of what one faces in dealing with organizations that pose as compassionate mediators, yet fail to get much more than a few pennies of donations to their intended targets is stark. It's a well intended move at the start, but as each group grows, so do their personal needs for raises, better this, better that. It's a hard sell when organizational gears get stuck. I know, I once gave to a children's fund and their operation was much less than I was led to believe. From the start, they were far too slow in linking me with a child. Months passed and still no picture, no details on their actions, nothing arrived. It is best to grow and give where one is planted, sad to say.

I can't fault you on your writing style. It read well. Those kinds of pleas, if you will, are best written more in the tone of a letter, I would say, since you are attempting to draw the reader's heart into the message. That, you did very well.