Muses

[Katherine E Wall]

MT - That is why I can't be bothered watching the show. But I swear, I am going to get a hat that says "Writer at Work". Not to muscle my way into places I don't belong, but so my family will leave me alone when I am entertaining my MuSe.

Like that will help.

[DATo]

Yes, I believe in muses, in fact I have one who stops in often. He looks a lot like Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life, and he is equally inept.

He offers premises which are totally ridiculous and in explaining to him WHY the premises he recommends are ridiculous I offer counter-premises which suggest promise. He thinks the setting should always be a bar or a grass hut in the Lesser Antilles. "I CAN'T DO THAT YOU IDIOT!" I scream. "The story is about a German luthier. There are no German luthiers in the Lower Antilles!" As I begin to develop the plot he suggests that the main character do something which is totally stupid ... "WHAT?" I exclaim, "IF I HAVE THE MAIN CHARACTER DO WHAT YOU SAY AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY IT WILL RUIN THE PLOT!" I then proceed to create a more plausible path to the execution of the climax.

He just sits there taking great delight in correcting my spelling and grammar mistakes and doing his best to make me feel stupid. I HATE THAT! So I make it a point of honor to preempt his corrections by taking care to think through the phrasing of what I write carefully. I just love to hit the backspace key repeatedly just as he opens his mouth to point out a correction and watch his cherubic sneer melt in disappointment.

Invariably, when I complete a story, he perks up and comments upon what a great job "WE" did. He then smiles, winks, and disappears in a cloud of self-satisfaction.

Now, if I could only figure out where that bell-ringing sound is coming from.

[Gravy]