Nonfiction Memoir or Embellished Story?

ash77atc · Post by **ash77atc** » 23 Mar 2016, 09:21

Since I graduated college I have wanted to write a book about my life experiences during that time and shortly after. People closest to me often said my life was like a Lifetime movie. Just as a teaser, I have experienced drug addiction, sexual abuse, homelessness, and more, all while pursuing my masters's degree and in a horribly toxic relationship. I am finally to a place where I feel I can write comfortably about my experiences without triggering some type of panic attack, and my issue is deciding on the genre. I am torn between writing a completely nonfiction memoir purely based on my experiences sort of like "A Million Little Pieces" or adding a few events or embellishing things to make more of a story or novel loosely based on my life. It will be a roller coaster of ups and downs either way. I would appreciate any input.

I should also note that this will definitely be a book my mother dare not read!

Sarah_Khan · Post by **Sarah_Khan** » 24 Mar 2016, 13:16

I think it all comes down to how comfortable you are with sharing your life story. If you are 100% okay with everyone knowing all about your life then I would go with writing a memoir. If you're a little hesitant of everyone knowing your life story even if they don't actually know you then I would go with a story that is just based on your life so then in the end you'll have a little privacy with the fact that people that don't know you well will have to keep guessing as to what is real and what is fake.
Either way...good luck.

moderntimes · Post by **moderntimes** » 24 Mar 2016, 21:01

This is an interesting topic, thanks.

First of all, if your personal life has been a bit too over the top, it may be unwise to write the story as a "tell-all" and might be the better choice to set it as fiction, and tweak the events slightly so that no real person is defamed or otherwise involved.

Second, although you hint at some fairly traumatic events in your formative years, I myself know personally maybe 3 or 4 people who've experienced similar difficulties. Not to say that your experiences aren't memorable or even life-teaching, but you'd be surprised at how many skeletons in the closet many people have. My point being that maybe your experiences aren't that unique, so they might not be marketable as a memoir.

And therefore, perhaps it might be better if they were depicted as "fiction" and your protagonist is a reflection of your real self rather than a straightforward biography.

Besides, you can then embellish the story more then, and maybe "get revenge" on the, er, "fictional" jerks who treated you so poorly. Like getting them killed off in some disreputable way, ha ha?

dunappy · Post by **dunappy** » 04 Apr 2016, 14:38

When I wrote my memoir about my horses, I was told to be careful regarding naming names. If you name names, then you'd better have the proof to back it up or you could be sued for libel and/or slander. A Fictionalized account may be the better option since then you can change the names and some of the situations and save yourself from any potential lawsuits.

moderntimes · Post by **moderntimes** » 04 Apr 2016, 15:31

dun, you're very correct and this is even more for private persons. For example, you can make a modest joke about Tom Selleck or John Kerry -- they're well known public people and courts have shown that you have to actually defame them seriously to get in legal trouble, but for private individuals, such as your cousin, almost anything negative can be grounds for a lawsuit. And even if it's not negative, just making comments about a real person is sometimes actionable.

Not only that, but hinting at a person in a negative way, even if you don't name that person but "point to" that person, can get you sued too. Look at Jesse Ventura's successful lawsuit against American Sniper Chris Kyle who hinted that Ventura got his butt whipped by some SEALs. Ventura's such a great guy that he demanded the million buck settlement against the dead guy's estate, too.

What to do? Change enough so that things are not traceable. For example, I'm writing a series of modern American private eye novels based in Houston. I wanted to have a sleazy area with corrupt cops where prostitution and gambling was pretty much wide open. So I created a totally fake township, "Mid City" Texas. If you look at a map of the Houston area, you'll see the large suburbs of Deer Park and Pasadena are flat against one another. So I inserted Mid City between them and there I put crooked cops and such.

It's okay to say something neutral or positive about commercial places, like McDonald's or Burger King. "We were sitting at the counter of Denny's. I had my usual Diet Coke, Bill was drinking coffee."

As for using real people? Be very very careful. If your depiction is favorable, it won't hurt to ask your friend if it's okay, then change the name and a couple of the circumstances anyway, to erase a direct path to that person's identity. If you're talking about someone in a negative manner, you really need to completely change that real person into a very different character so that no links can be established.