Does your family blow off your writing?
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- MonkeyToothpaste
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Re: Does your family blow off your writing?
- desi330
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-- 19 May 2015, 16:51 --
I dont share it
- CloudedRune
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- Eyre-thee-well
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― Charlotte Brontë,Jane Eyre
- skcasta+
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- Scott
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I had already made websites at that time, which is a lot more of an achievement back then since this was before smartphones, before Facebook, before MySpace even. But one time I suggested I could possibly make a living writing if I wanted, and they basically laughed at me. I remember the conversation so vividly still. I understood the hidden motivation; they were applying this common solid cookie-cutter dogma that good parenting is making your kids do well in school, go to the best college they can, and get a job hopefully at slightly or moderately above the median income. And that is probably great advice in most cases. But they weren't parenting one hundred thousand kids, where it makes sense to apply to all of those kids a general rule that generally applies. To this day, I don't even care if they were dead-right that the idea was laughable of me personally being more interested in writing than school--or follow anything instead of school considering I hated school and would never have continued it despite their desperate hopes otherwise. I don't care if they were right that I am not an exception to that cookie-cutter advice. All I took from that experience--and their general attitude about my hatred for school and my actual passions--was that they thought I wasn't exceptional.
I think I would have been a lot more interested in writing, a lot more willing to invest in it, throughout the rest of my life, had it not been for that day.
But most readers like to write, and most writers like to read. I love to read, and I've read a lot books since then. One of the many things I tried since then was making a website about books since I like books. The website grew into something I think is really cool and makes me proud.
So I may have never become J.K. Rowling, but I can say if I didn't--wrong or right--believe in my exceptionalism despite lack of family support, if I forced myself to suffer through the school I hated, this website wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't be having this conversation. If I had somehow forced myself through 10 years of school to become a lawyer or a dentist or whatever my family thought my limits were in their own dreams, I cannot imagine how miserable I would be. I wouldn't be a happy dentist; I can tell you that.
So, writers, my advice is to believe in yourself regardless of what your family thinks. If you don't believe in yourself so much that others think you are crazy, then you don't believe in yourself enough.
^ I wrote that whole post. Take that, past.
"Non ignara mali miseris succurrere disco." Virgil, The Aeneid
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- khudecek
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My husband, God bless him, thought I wasted time at my computer. I don't know how many times he told me that. He told me I needed to market my work (only not that nicely). It would hurt my feelings, of course and I'd lay off for a few days and then get back on it with a bad attitude toward him.
After winning a spot in Holding Fire, and after he made the comment about there being only 10 entries and insinuating that I won by default, I think he knew I was serious about this. He hasn't said anything since. Don't get me wrong; he's a great guy but I don't think he understands that part of me. He makes cameos in all of my work, including the story for Holding Fire.
But it isn't just him. He's just the one who is closest to me now. While I was in junior high and high school, I was writing all of these short stories for my friends and they seemed to like them and that gave me a boost in my confidence. But as the family goes, my younger brother used to steal whatever it was I was working on, lock himself in the bathroom and start yelling through the door what I'd written, laughing the whole time. That was demoralizing. I'd beg my mom to make him stop and her response was, "Ignore him and he'll stop". But me, being 16 or 17 years old, wasn't going to have that and I'd beg him to stop and pound on the door, yelling at him to shut up. He found that even more amusing and would read louder and laugh even more.
That traumatized me to the point where I never let anybody read anything I wrote. To this day, I'm terrified to submit anything anywhere because it's obvious that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm opening myself up for more ridicule. I know I can't write to please everyone and I know that not everyone is going to like what I write. It goes with the territory. But at least I'm sort of putting myself out there now, despite it all.
I still don't want my family reading what I write and I don't have to worry about it. The only person in my family who bought a copy of Holding Fire is my older brother, who really is my friend and advocate. As a matter of fact, when I convert my text to voice so I can listen to the story, I do it with headphones so nobody can hear it, either.
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~~
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
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Your short story "Ghostwriter" was really freakin' good. It was the best edited of the bunch, it was compelling in an edge-of-your-seat kind of way, it was gorgeously vindictive, and it had a great conclusion. And your bratty brother wasn't ridiculing your writing--he was being a <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleep>, darn it. People who are <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleeps> aren't qualified to offer up ridicule.
- khudecek
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LOL! You rock my world!zeldas_lullaby wrote: Your short story "Ghostwriter" was really freakin' good. It was the best edited of the bunch, it was compelling in an edge-of-your-seat kind of way, it was gorgeously vindictive, and it had a great conclusion. And your bratty brother wasn't ridiculing your writing--he was being a <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleep>, darn it. People who are <bleep> <bleep> <bleeping> <bleeps> aren't qualified to offer up ridicule.
And thank you for the kind words about Ghostwriter.
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~~
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
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Do you have any other writings in the mix these days?
- khudecek
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Actually, I do. I have a novel at the editor's and hope to get it back soon.zeldas_lullaby wrote:You're welcome!!
Do you have any other writings in the mix these days?
What are you working on?
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~~
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
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I'm still plugging away at my series! I'm working on volumes 7 and 8 currently. (I wrote 7 in its entirety and then decided I hated it. I was 71% into writing 8 when I came to that realization, so I backtracked and started 7 from the beginning, moving 8 to the back burner.)
- bookowlie
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Wow, what an interesting post. I think you are exceptional!Scott wrote:When I was a teenager, I hated school. My parents didn't like that. They insisted I would "flip burgers" for the rest of my life if I didn't pass my classes and go to college.
I had already made websites at that time, which is a lot more of an achievement back then since this was before smartphones, before Facebook, before MySpace even. But one time I suggested I could possibly make a living writing if I wanted, and they basically laughed at me. I remember the conversation so vividly still. I understood the hidden motivation; they were applying this common solid cookie-cutter dogma that good parenting is making your kids do well in school, go to the best college they can, and get a job hopefully at slightly or moderately above the median income. And that is probably great advice in most cases. But they weren't parenting one hundred thousand kids, where it makes sense to apply to all of those kids a general rule that generally applies. To this day, I don't even care if they were dead-right that the idea was laughable of me personally being more interested in writing than school--or follow anything instead of school considering I hated school and would never have continued it despite their desperate hopes otherwise. I don't care if they were right that I am not an exception to that cookie-cutter advice. All I took from that experience--and their general attitude about my hatred for school and my actual passions--was that they thought I wasn't exceptional.
I think I would have been a lot more interested in writing, a lot more willing to invest in it, throughout the rest of my life, had it not been for that day.
But most readers like to write, and most writers like to read. I love to read, and I've read a lot books since then. One of the many things I tried since then was making a website about books since I like books. The website grew into something I think is really cool and makes me proud.
So I may have never become J.K. Rowling, but I can say if I didn't--wrong or right--believe in my exceptionalism despite lack of family support, if I forced myself to suffer through the school I hated, this website wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't be having this conversation. If I had somehow forced myself through 10 years of school to become a lawyer or a dentist or whatever my family thought my limits were in their own dreams, I cannot imagine how miserable I would be. I wouldn't be a happy dentist; I can tell you that.
So, writers, my advice is to believe in yourself regardless of what your family thinks. If you don't believe in yourself so much that others think you are crazy, then you don't believe in yourself enough.
^ I wrote that whole post. Take that, past.
I am glad you didn't decide to become a dentist. I hate going to the dentist and don't even like saying the word.