Your First Sentence(s)

Discuss writing, including writing tips & tricks, writing philosophy, writer's block, etc. If you have grammar questions, marketing questions, or if you want feedback on a poem or short story you wrote, please use the corresponding forum below.
Featured Topic: How to Get Your Book Published
User avatar
Katherine E Wall
Posts: 139
Joined: 13 Jul 2013, 14:14
Bookshelf Size: 36
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-katherine-e-wall.html
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper

Your First Sentence(s)

Post by Katherine E Wall »

In the Books and Reading Forum, I just responded to the first sentence of the book you are currently reading. That got me thinking, what about the first sentence of the book, story, or even poem, you are currently working on, or from one of your works. Anyone care to share?

Here is mine. It is from a short-short around 1500 words.

"His screams permeate the walls, echo in my soul."
"We awaken the muse with the spirit of creativity. We entomb it with the ghoul of self-doubt."

That's right, I have a muse. It is spelled MusE. My writing is influenced by the interactions of people I meet - us and ME.
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper
ambiguity+
Posts: 10
Joined: 24 May 2014, 03:10
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ambiguity.html

Post by ambiguity+ »

The first story I wrote this year (which is still incomplete) starts from "It all happened in one silent night... "
User avatar
Katherine E Wall
Posts: 139
Joined: 13 Jul 2013, 14:14
Bookshelf Size: 36
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-katherine-e-wall.html
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper

Post by Katherine E Wall »

ambiguity+ wrote:The first story I wrote this year (which is still incomplete) starts from "It all happened in one silent night... "
That is an interesting start, Ambiguity. My first thought was how can everything happen in a night which is silent, not to mention wondering what 'it all' is. So, you have me thinking, and that is a good thing when trying to hook a reader. It would at least keep me reading to find out the next sentence.
"We awaken the muse with the spirit of creativity. We entomb it with the ghoul of self-doubt."

That's right, I have a muse. It is spelled MusE. My writing is influenced by the interactions of people I meet - us and ME.
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper
User avatar
[dghtrAlc]
Posts: 9
Joined: 07 Jun 2014, 12:24
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by [dghtrAlc] »

I've closed books because I couldn't get past the first sentence. I think John Irving is the master of first sentences. I think the first sentence is a hook for the entire book.
melrose226
Posts: 33
Joined: 09 Jun 2014, 17:11
Bookshelf Size: 1
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-melrose226.html
Latest Review: "Victory Blvd." by Sameer Ketkar

Post by melrose226 »

For me, opening sentences are the most important part of the book, hands down (okay, that might be an overstatement. But still, if a first sentence grabs me I will be hooked for the whole book.) so I am always trying to come up with exciting first sentences for my projects. My favorite thus far is for an incomplete crime thriller novel I'm working on:

"I kill people for a living."
Latest Review: "Victory Blvd." by Sameer Ketkar
User avatar
brynabee
Posts: 14
Joined: 09 Jun 2014, 13:23
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-brynabee.html

Post by brynabee »

"I woke up hot that morning."
User avatar
randolphfine
Posts: 65
Joined: 19 Mar 2014, 21:36
Favorite Author: Bernard Cornwell
Favorite Book: For Whom the Bell Tolls
Currently Reading: Les Miserables
Bookshelf Size: 13
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-randolphfine.html
Latest Review: "Bulldog" by Joe DeCicco
fav_author_id: 3083

Post by randolphfine »

"He took another sip and did what he always did –he remembered."

Though I am not even sure this is my first chapter yet. I appreciate this thread, because it really makes me think about that first line. Like the earlier posts, the first sentence is possibly the difference maker in whether or not the book goes from the shelf to the checkout line. Good topic.
Latest Review: "Bulldog" by Joe DeCicco
User avatar
Katherine E Wall
Posts: 139
Joined: 13 Jul 2013, 14:14
Bookshelf Size: 36
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-katherine-e-wall.html
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper

Post by Katherine E Wall »

randolphfine wrote:"He took another sip and did what he always did –he remembered."

Though I am not even sure this is my first chapter yet. I appreciate this thread, because it really makes me think about that first line. Like the earlier posts, the first sentence is possibly the difference maker in whether or not the book goes from the shelf to the checkout line. Good topic.
Very true. Sometimes, I have a first line floating around in my head, long before I even know what the story is going to be. However, when the story is finished, I often find that first line was merely the catalyst for thinking, and I end up changing it to something stronger and which reflects the story.

I wish I could remember where I read it, but I remember something about the end of your story can be found in the first few lines. Certainly, it is not obvious to the reader at first, but it is always interesting to see if you can tie the thread that meanders through the story into a satisfying reflection on those first few lines.
"We awaken the muse with the spirit of creativity. We entomb it with the ghoul of self-doubt."

That's right, I have a muse. It is spelled MusE. My writing is influenced by the interactions of people I meet - us and ME.
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper
User avatar
randolphfine
Posts: 65
Joined: 19 Mar 2014, 21:36
Favorite Author: Bernard Cornwell
Favorite Book: For Whom the Bell Tolls
Currently Reading: Les Miserables
Bookshelf Size: 13
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-randolphfine.html
Latest Review: "Bulldog" by Joe DeCicco
fav_author_id: 3083

Post by randolphfine »

KEW wrote: I remember something about the end of your story can be found in the first few lines. Certainly, it is not obvious to the reader at first, but it is always interesting to see if you can tie the thread that meanders through the story into a satisfying reflection on those first few lines.
I have my first and last chapters tied together, but the actual lines are not. I think this is something I will definitely have to look at when I get closer to completion. Thanks.
Latest Review: "Bulldog" by Joe DeCicco
User avatar
Katherine E Wall
Posts: 139
Joined: 13 Jul 2013, 14:14
Bookshelf Size: 36
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-katherine-e-wall.html
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper

Post by Katherine E Wall »

randolphfine wrote:
KEW wrote: I remember something about the end of your story can be found in the first few lines. Certainly, it is not obvious to the reader at first, but it is always interesting to see if you can tie the thread that meanders through the story into a satisfying reflection on those first few lines.
I have my first and last chapters tied together, but the actual lines are not. I think this is something I will definitely have to look at when I get closer to completion. Thanks.
The lines themselves don't have to be tied together, but I love stories that end resonating with the beginning.
"We awaken the muse with the spirit of creativity. We entomb it with the ghoul of self-doubt."

That's right, I have a muse. It is spelled MusE. My writing is influenced by the interactions of people I meet - us and ME.
Latest Review: "Vietnam Memoirs: Part 1" by Don Bonsper
User avatar
mellybean
Posts: 14
Joined: 12 Jun 2014, 16:24
Bookshelf Size: 3
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mellybean.html

Post by mellybean »

This is definitely the hardest part of any story for me. I find that if I can't get that first sentence then I can't get anything done. Though eventually it does turn into first page, first chapter, first half. I'm just rubbish at starting stories in general.

The latest "The cool, wet pavement against my bare feet was something that I had missed after spending so much time underground."
User avatar
serena08max
Posts: 19
Joined: 10 Jun 2014, 15:01
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-serena08max.html

Post by serena08max »

I had to go and look my first sentence up on the website that I can't mention yet. It goes: Perhaps, it had been better for her that her parents had died when she was still so young.

I want to write again. I just haven't "felt" it in so long. It has an energy of its own. I love it.
tangowithParis
Posts: 84
Joined: 23 May 2014, 13:29
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by tangowithParis »

"I snuck up on a bottle of ibuprofen, tossed back a few, and chased it with stale
ginger ale. If 'Busters Last Stand' was half a league, Buster2 was in a league all it's own."

I'm not a writer. But I want to be one when I grow up. One of the things that's
impressed me about good writing, good filmaking, or good anything, is the
artist's use of the first sentence(opening) to set the tone of the story. Francis Coppola
is a genius at this. Coppola does not bull**it. "My film isn't about Vietnam. It is Vietnam.
In the end, we had too much money and too much time. And we all went crazy."
Every guy in the audience has just been told "We're going to KILL everything. And we're
going to do it with Dance of the Valkyries leading us into Battle." GO!!!
You have to get your audience on your side NOW. And that's what the first sentence should do.
User avatar
KasMorin
Posts: 24
Joined: 15 Jun 2014, 16:54
Currently Reading: Silent Echo
Bookshelf Size: 2
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kasmorin.html

Post by KasMorin »

"My head snapped back with an all-too-familiar feeling: white hot pain blossoming across my cheekbone."

I've been editing a novella that I plan to query in a few weeks...that's the first sentence.
tangowithParis
Posts: 84
Joined: 23 May 2014, 13:29
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by tangowithParis »

"I was discouraged. It was way too early in the drunk to assign it a position among
my notables. Certain criteria had to be met. And this fool in the rain hadn't met them.
Duh duh ta dumpty dump. Oh baby. Now I will stand in
the rain on the conah. Watch the fools as they shuffle on by. another sad minute, no longer. When will I see you again? Again......again oh yea.....again. Balls. I was stone
sober. But I wanted so badly to see her again. I .was willing to...........(a yawn and a hurl
deposit the midnight special(Fries,BLT,Shake, and KeyLimePie) at his feet. TheTechnicolorYawn. How shameless. What kind of drunk have I become? Scoreless.
And on so many levels."
Post Reply

Return to “Writing Discussion”