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Hello. I am a fairly new writer and i need as much feedback as possible for my first story. I posted a little of the unfinished story on my blog and would like for you all to read it. I would like for yo to comment on the way it is written and if you think it makes you want to keep reading. You can either leave your comment here or on the blog, it does not matte, but please leave feedback. I am reluctant to post it here because of my inability to delete it afterwards. please visit

divineflawbook [dot] blogspot [dot] com. Thank you all for your help

best compliments from my side.

you done a very job writing story.
have to add some more functionality to show reality.
better have to start writing story on country by making proud.
better have to make as figures .

All the best .

This story has not been posted 4 two weeks. What are you talking about!

well, try to make it better ... best of luck

Excellent piece of writing .

This story has not been posted 4 two weeks. What are you talking about!thanks

i think it is a good writing and good job

Hii...
Great job..... the content not seems like as your are learner it seems like to be profession....& make writing blog as your passion

just practice and practice

good content man

One of the main topics I'm good at writing about it erotica. That's what I want to write novels, adult books, and short stories
About. What are your opinions on this topic of books?

Dear your story is really superb, you such a good writer than me