Here is a persuasive essay i wrote!
-
millie
- Posts: 4
- Joined: 09 Jun 2010, 03:42
- Bookshelf Size: 0
Here is a persuasive essay i wrote!
Note: the sources at the bottom are made up sources. this was just a practice essay we did for a test
Home Sweet Home
Do you ever feel like trapped in your own home? Do you ever want to leave you family and live on your own? Sylvia is seeking emancipation because that is how she feels. Sylvia wants to become emancipated because she doesn’t like having to share a room with her little sister also she wants to be able to see her boyfriend more. Sylvia and other people that think it is a good idea to move out at 16 should not because they won’t have a job, they will drop out of high school, they will have to make their own food, they will have to clean their own house, they will be lonely, and they will become very undisciplined.
First, people that move out at 16 have to get jobs to support themselves and this is one reason they should not move out because they will be unable to get a job. If Sylvia moved out she would need money and therefore need to get a job unless she wants to live in a cardboard box, but she won’t be able to get a job. “All teenagers who move out at 16 are unable to get a job their whole lifetimes.” (Dr. No-It-All) Dr. No-It-All, who has his PhD in teenage behaviors, points out that because she wouldn’t be able to get a job she shouldn’t move out because she will have no money. It’s a bad idea for Sylvia or any other teenagers to move out at 16 unless they would like to be poor for lack of job.
Moving out too early also causes teenagers to drop out of high school. If Sylvia moved out she would still have to finish high school but it is hard for most 16 year olds to finish high school if they are living on their own. “There is a 75% chance that all teenagers that move out at 16 drop out of high school because it is too much stress to work, clean, cook, and do school.” (Barnes) Jean Barnes, the author of The Ultimate Factbook and a professor at Yale, points out the high rate of dropouts in high school for teenagers that have moved out. “I moved out when I was 16 but I didn’t have time for school because I was busy trying to provide for myself. Then I dropped out and had to move back in with my parents. This will happen to you if you move out at 16.” (Jones, 102) Most teenagers think that they will do better in high school if they move out. “My little sister annoyed me so much when I lived at home. I thought moving out would help but it only caused my grades to drop even lower because I had no time to do my school work and so I got discouraged and dropped out.” (May) Maney May tried to move out at 16 and thought this would be a good idea because he thought he would have more time to do homework but it only got worse. This shows that Sylvia will drop out of high school if she gets emancipated. Teenagers should not get emancipated at 16 because there is a high chance they will drop out of high school.
Next, if teenagers like Sylvia move out at 16 they will also miss the food their parents make and will have to make it own their own. If Sylvia lived alone she would miss her mom’s delicious food and would have to learn to make her own food if she doesn’t want to live on just Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese. “One of my favorite foods in the whole world is my mom’s dog spit stew. (Sylvia,
This is a quote from Sylvia’s journal where she is talking about her mom’s cooking and if shemoved out she wouldn’t be able to eat any of her mom’s food. Jimmy Jones, who was emancipated when he was 16, says , “When I moved out I didn’t know how to cook. Studies show that 50% of all 16 year olds that are emancipated live on Macaroni and Cheese, and Top Ramen.” (Jones 10) That shows that in order to live on your own you should learn how to cook so you don’t have to only eat instant food. Sylvia also won’t have the time to learn how to cook because she will be trying to
clean and do school. People who want to be emancipated at 16 should not be because they will most likely be starving because they would have to learn how to cook but wont have very much time to learn.
Also, Sylvia and other 16 year olds that are emancipated would regret leaving home because they would have to clean wherever they stayed all by their self. At Sylvia’s house they have a maid named Helga who cleans everything for them and does their laundry. (Sylvia, 11) If she moved out she would have to clean her own house. “80% of all teenagers who live on their own spend 20 hours a week cleaning their own house.” (Cleaning Census) Sylvia and any other teenager that wants to move out at 16 shouldn’t because the would spend about 3 hours a day cleaning and this wouldn’t leave very much time for other things.
Adolescents that are emancipated at 16 also feel very alone because they are away from their warm home. If Sylvia moved out she would be very lonely because she wouldn’t be used to not being with her family. “All teenagers that live alone are lonely because they are not use to being away from their family very much.” (Dr. Snog) Dr. Snog, an expert on teenage behaviors,
explains that when you live at home you are with your family for at least one part of the day and moving out would be a drastic change to the people they are around. “I thought that if I moved out I would get to see my boyfriend more and my friends more but I ended up having no time at all to hang out with anyone because I was so busy trying to do school and cook and clean and find ways to get money. I thought moving out would be peaceful because I wouldn’t see my family but I even missed my little sister after a week.” (May) One of the biggest reasons teenagers move out is because they think they will have more freedom but in the end they have less time and freedom to do the things they want. This is another reason that it is a bad idea to move out at 16 because there is hardly any time to see family or friends so teenagers become very lonely.
If Sylvia moves out at 16 her integrity will drop and she will be very undisciplined and will join a gang or do other bad things. All teenagers that move out at 16 get so over whelmed with having to take care of their self that they start to get into bad habits such as drinking, abusing drugs, and joining gangs. Teenagers without their parents have no one to tell them right from wrong and end up making bad choices. “100% of all teenagers that move out early do drugs, drink, or join a gang because they have no elders guiding them” (Dr. Snog) Sylvia will most likely become a bad kid and get into trouble. Because the rate for gangs, drinking, and drugs is so high for teenagers that move out early, 16 year olds should not be emancipated.
Sylvia wants to be emancipated but this is a bad idea for any 16 year old because of many reasons.If 16 year olds move out they will not be able to get jobs. Also, moving out too earlycauses teenagers to drop out of high school because of stress and lack of time. Then, they would miss their parents cooking and wouldn’t have any time to learn how to cook. Also, They would have to slave away each week trying to clean wherever they lived. And being emancipated at 16 also causes teenagers to become very lonely because they wouldn’t have to time to see their family or friends. Finally, Teenagers that leave home early also become ‘troubled teens’ because they have no parents to guide them. Teenagers like Sylvia that are pondering leaving home should not unless they want to be jobless, drop out of high school, starve, spend most their time cleaning, be lonely, and become undisciplined. So stay home in your warm home…
Bibliography
Dr. No-It-All, Jobs Now and Then, Jobs publishing inc., Dallas, TX 2001
Jean Barnes, Dropout Rates The Ultimate Factbook, Facts Pro Publishing, Hubu, Antarctica
2005
Jimmy Jones, My Journey of Emancipation, Scholactica Publishing, New Zealand 1994
Sylvia Sylvester, Sylvia’s Journal, Sylvia Publishing, Vancouver, WA 2009
Dr. Snog, Teenagers Today and Yesterday, Snog and Co., Frankstown, Canada 2002
Cleaning Census, Census’ of America, Washington DC 1999
Maney May, My Marvelous Many Adventures, May publishing, Frankford Kentucky, 2010
Home Sweet Home
Do you ever feel like trapped in your own home? Do you ever want to leave you family and live on your own? Sylvia is seeking emancipation because that is how she feels. Sylvia wants to become emancipated because she doesn’t like having to share a room with her little sister also she wants to be able to see her boyfriend more. Sylvia and other people that think it is a good idea to move out at 16 should not because they won’t have a job, they will drop out of high school, they will have to make their own food, they will have to clean their own house, they will be lonely, and they will become very undisciplined.
First, people that move out at 16 have to get jobs to support themselves and this is one reason they should not move out because they will be unable to get a job. If Sylvia moved out she would need money and therefore need to get a job unless she wants to live in a cardboard box, but she won’t be able to get a job. “All teenagers who move out at 16 are unable to get a job their whole lifetimes.” (Dr. No-It-All) Dr. No-It-All, who has his PhD in teenage behaviors, points out that because she wouldn’t be able to get a job she shouldn’t move out because she will have no money. It’s a bad idea for Sylvia or any other teenagers to move out at 16 unless they would like to be poor for lack of job.
Moving out too early also causes teenagers to drop out of high school. If Sylvia moved out she would still have to finish high school but it is hard for most 16 year olds to finish high school if they are living on their own. “There is a 75% chance that all teenagers that move out at 16 drop out of high school because it is too much stress to work, clean, cook, and do school.” (Barnes) Jean Barnes, the author of The Ultimate Factbook and a professor at Yale, points out the high rate of dropouts in high school for teenagers that have moved out. “I moved out when I was 16 but I didn’t have time for school because I was busy trying to provide for myself. Then I dropped out and had to move back in with my parents. This will happen to you if you move out at 16.” (Jones, 102) Most teenagers think that they will do better in high school if they move out. “My little sister annoyed me so much when I lived at home. I thought moving out would help but it only caused my grades to drop even lower because I had no time to do my school work and so I got discouraged and dropped out.” (May) Maney May tried to move out at 16 and thought this would be a good idea because he thought he would have more time to do homework but it only got worse. This shows that Sylvia will drop out of high school if she gets emancipated. Teenagers should not get emancipated at 16 because there is a high chance they will drop out of high school.
Next, if teenagers like Sylvia move out at 16 they will also miss the food their parents make and will have to make it own their own. If Sylvia lived alone she would miss her mom’s delicious food and would have to learn to make her own food if she doesn’t want to live on just Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese. “One of my favorite foods in the whole world is my mom’s dog spit stew. (Sylvia,
This is a quote from Sylvia’s journal where she is talking about her mom’s cooking and if shemoved out she wouldn’t be able to eat any of her mom’s food. Jimmy Jones, who was emancipated when he was 16, says , “When I moved out I didn’t know how to cook. Studies show that 50% of all 16 year olds that are emancipated live on Macaroni and Cheese, and Top Ramen.” (Jones 10) That shows that in order to live on your own you should learn how to cook so you don’t have to only eat instant food. Sylvia also won’t have the time to learn how to cook because she will be trying to clean and do school. People who want to be emancipated at 16 should not be because they will most likely be starving because they would have to learn how to cook but wont have very much time to learn.
Also, Sylvia and other 16 year olds that are emancipated would regret leaving home because they would have to clean wherever they stayed all by their self. At Sylvia’s house they have a maid named Helga who cleans everything for them and does their laundry. (Sylvia, 11) If she moved out she would have to clean her own house. “80% of all teenagers who live on their own spend 20 hours a week cleaning their own house.” (Cleaning Census) Sylvia and any other teenager that wants to move out at 16 shouldn’t because the would spend about 3 hours a day cleaning and this wouldn’t leave very much time for other things.
Adolescents that are emancipated at 16 also feel very alone because they are away from their warm home. If Sylvia moved out she would be very lonely because she wouldn’t be used to not being with her family. “All teenagers that live alone are lonely because they are not use to being away from their family very much.” (Dr. Snog) Dr. Snog, an expert on teenage behaviors,
explains that when you live at home you are with your family for at least one part of the day and moving out would be a drastic change to the people they are around. “I thought that if I moved out I would get to see my boyfriend more and my friends more but I ended up having no time at all to hang out with anyone because I was so busy trying to do school and cook and clean and find ways to get money. I thought moving out would be peaceful because I wouldn’t see my family but I even missed my little sister after a week.” (May) One of the biggest reasons teenagers move out is because they think they will have more freedom but in the end they have less time and freedom to do the things they want. This is another reason that it is a bad idea to move out at 16 because there is hardly any time to see family or friends so teenagers become very lonely.
If Sylvia moves out at 16 her integrity will drop and she will be very undisciplined and will join a gang or do other bad things. All teenagers that move out at 16 get so over whelmed with having to take care of their self that they start to get into bad habits such as drinking, abusing drugs, and joining gangs. Teenagers without their parents have no one to tell them right from wrong and end up making bad choices. “100% of all teenagers that move out early do drugs, drink, or join a gang because they have no elders guiding them” (Dr. Snog) Sylvia will most likely become a bad kid and get into trouble. Because the rate for gangs, drinking, and drugs is so high for teenagers that move out early, 16 year olds should not be emancipated.
Sylvia wants to be emancipated but this is a bad idea for any 16 year old because of many reasons.If 16 year olds move out they will not be able to get jobs. Also, moving out too earlycauses teenagers to drop out of high school because of stress and lack of time. Then, they would miss their parents cooking and wouldn’t have any time to learn how to cook. Also, They would have to slave away each week trying to clean wherever they lived. And being emancipated at 16 also causes teenagers to become very lonely because they wouldn’t have to time to see their family or friends. Finally, Teenagers that leave home early also become ‘troubled teens’ because they have no parents to guide them. Teenagers like Sylvia that are pondering leaving home should not unless they want to be jobless, drop out of high school, starve, spend most their time cleaning, be lonely, and become undisciplined. So stay home in your warm home…
Bibliography
Dr. No-It-All, Jobs Now and Then, Jobs publishing inc., Dallas, TX 2001
Jean Barnes, Dropout Rates The Ultimate Factbook, Facts Pro Publishing, Hubu, Antarctica
2005
Jimmy Jones, My Journey of Emancipation, Scholactica Publishing, New Zealand 1994
Sylvia Sylvester, Sylvia’s Journal, Sylvia Publishing, Vancouver, WA 2009
Dr. Snog, Teenagers Today and Yesterday, Snog and Co., Frankstown, Canada 2002
Cleaning Census, Census’ of America, Washington DC 1999
Maney May, My Marvelous Many Adventures, May publishing, Frankford Kentucky, 2010
-
Perrywinkle47
- Posts: 598
- Joined: 31 Aug 2010, 05:51
- Bookshelf Size: 0
Wow, I loved it. It is actually a super persuasive essay. Someone considering leaving home at 16 should read it because I am sure this essay is strong enough to persuade him to stay at home.
It is a very clear essay, with every paragraph introducing one topic sentence and you have explained all the topic sentences with great supporting details like the references and everything. Bravo!
It is a very clear essay, with every paragraph introducing one topic sentence and you have explained all the topic sentences with great supporting details like the references and everything. Bravo!
