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Ok, so I'm starting to write a book, and I want to get feedback on this blip...

More than a thousand years of war has devided our world. After more than five billion casualties, one man discovers a truth, and people willing to kill to conceal that truth.

This is an adventure of love, warfare, and loss. People that seem to be heroes aren't always what they're seen as. In the end, only the person beside you in the trenches that keeps enemies off your back as you struggle to reload or clear a jam are the true heroes.

Lemme know what you think

~fightingblind~

Your synoposis is not compelling enough to draw the audience into reading your book. Who is this man and how does killing to conceal the truth differeniate from warfare? Love and loss between whom; the man or the love of war? An adventure is a journey...where are you taking your audience? Thought questions to ask yourself...

You have a good basis...now you need to enhance it.

Interesting storyline. I could see some colorful character development and several spin-off sub plots...Yes. I would like to see more. Do you have a title yet?

I think your blip was excellent so far...
I want more now.
I like the way you put every word carefully thought but yet it seems spontaneously.

Like it!

Yeah that's great idea of writing a book and the lines of your story you mentioned in this post also looks fantastic and attractive but the thing is now a days no one is interested in war story so the audience are more attractive if you would have choosed other story. There are lots of writers in the present world but they lack behind in choosing good story.

Your first post to the Online book discussion and THIS negative? Shaking my head.

I am sure there is a market for any storyline.

Hang in there, original poster. There will always be naysayers...try anyway.
You will surprise most and annoy the rest.

I think it would look more interesting if you elaborate more on this man. Its like giving a hint of who he is and how he'd get involved in that incident.

Warfare will always have audience because of its horrors.

i can't say anything about it .. show us when story is complete ...best of luck ..

Hang in there, original poster. There will always be naysayers...try anyway.
You will surprise most and annoy the rest.

I think the best thing for you to do to get opinions on your ideas, and to help you refine your plot line would be to make a "back of the book blurb" type deal where you add in names and possibly dates and locations; enough to draw in the readers attention but not giving the ending away. It would give us more to comment on at the least. Good luck nonetheless!

I have to agree with the popular response that the idea itself seems like it could be interesting; however, I don't see the storyline yet, just a premise. Think out the idea a little bit more and put some of it down on paper; if you'd like to write out an outline or character sketches and repost it here, I think that you'll get a lot more helpful responses, with detailed thoughts on story.

I'd be very interested to give more input, but I don't feel like it would be justified until more information about the content is available. I'm looking forward to seeing more about this work!

Anybody else thinking the plot of the "Terminator" series?

1,000 years in the future and guns are still jamming?

You definitely can expand upon your idea. It seems slightly generic from what you've written in your post thus far. I feel like I've seen a movie with a similar plot-line. Terminator does come to mind as a few others have mentioned already. The truth that your character will discover needs to be ultimately unique. If it is something that the majority of people won't expect, then you're on the right track. I'm sure you'll come up with something great. Good Luck!

Finish it, show us that your story is good as you expected,good luck.