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I should start off this review with a personal confession. I hate vampires. Despise them. If I happen to pick up a book and the word “vampire” even appears, I tend to look like this:
If a vampire falls in love with a mortal, I will look like this:
If there is any reference to a vampire bite being sexy, I will look like this: , quickly followed by this:
However, despite my utter disdain for vampires, I still find myself in search of a good vampire book; it’s like I am challenging vampire writers to try and impress the ultimate vampire hater.

James Michael Larranaga deserves some kind of award for impressing me with his young adult vampire novel Blood Orange Soda. While I did roll my eyes a few times during the course of reading, I never once had a single homicidal thought nor any urges to self-inflict bodily harm just to cover up the pain of reading about something as lame as vampires. In fact, this is one of the best YA books I have read in a while. Vampires or not.

The story begins with a funeral and then jumps back a month to follow main character Darius through the events that lead up to the funeral. Exactly whose funeral he was attending is a bit of a mystery, and as I was reading, I found myself jumping back and forth in my guesses about who would die by the end of the story.

Darius is a pre-Vampire taking the government-issued medication “Reds” in order to live his life as a Normal until his sixteenth birthday when he will begin his transformation into a true Vampire. But after being on the losing side of too many fights with his school’s bully and then meeting the new transforming Vampire chick in town, Darius begins his own transformation a bit ahead of schedule. His uncle provides him with the illegal drink Blood Orange Soda to accelerate his transformation, with the additional side effects of giving him an edge over his bully and helping him to resist the temptation of biting his new girlfriend. Throw in some guyliner, a mother suffering from the Vampire strain of HIV2, complicated relationships between friends, and a whole lot of teen angst, and you’ve got one page-turner of a novel.

I loved this story from start to finish, and I can’t think of a thing I would have liked to see different. The writing itself is fantastic, and I found no flaws in the technical aspects of the story. Yeah, tiny details here or there in the plot might have been a bit lame or groan-worthy, but if we nitpicked about all of the lame things in our own boring lives, we’d have way too much complaining going on. This author definitely has a good idea of what it is like to be a teenager – vampire aside – so I believe that pretty much any young reader could relate to this story in one way or another. The ending of the story is so emotional; I was actually shedding tears and laughing at the same time. Even though I knew someone was going to die, I was still surprised at the way it happened. Great ending!

I rate this story 4 out of 4 stars. There is nothing else to say except how much I loved it and would recommend it to readers who are fond of this genre. Even vampire-haters like me can enjoy this one!

** I never once had a single homicidal thought nor any urges to self-inflict bodily harm just to cover up the pain of reading about something as lame as vampires**

Possibly the funniest line I have ever read in a book review.

I tip my hypothetical hat to you.

Thanks! This is what it is like in my mind at all moments of the day.

ALynnPowers wrote:Thanks! This is what it is like in my mind at all moments of the day.

Lucky you.

All I got is

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, etc, with an occasional I'm 'enery the 8th I am

If I read this review without a name attached to it, there would be no question in my mind who wrote it. You have a very distinct voice - colloquial, lighthearted, funny and free flowing, and brutally honest (sometimes as much about yourself as the book under review!). I find it quite charming. You should really give yourself more credit as a writer (although, admittedly, I've never read any of your fiction). (Sorry, I really tend to overuse parentheses. I'm working on that.) You're quite good and quite unique, at least as far as the small slice of writing on this site goes.

Anyway,

I too am not enamored with the whole vampire culture that has sprouted and grown over the past several years. It's silly and irritating. Somewhere else I saw that you are planning to read Dracula. For me, that's the quintessential vampire story. Dracula is just a baddie. That's all. The story is well told, with a pretty good, climactic ending. I've read it two or three times. I hope you like it. (Wherever you said that, I recommended a movie for you. But I won't repeat all the boring stuff I wrote haha.) More parentheses!

- ポール

Is it weird that while reading this I kept hearing...

"Who loves blood orange soda? You love blood orange soda!"

Anyway...this actually looks very interesting.
Thank you for bringing yet another book to my attention!
Could you here the sarcasm?

You guys make me smile. If I could write reviews for you, I'd give you both four stars as well.

Thanks for your comments!!!

A lovely review indeed!

It seems like a good book. Thank you for the recommendation.

I was looking for this review awhile ago but couldn't find it. I remembered that it made me smile. And I just smiled again.

Love the smilies; love the review. Medication to halt vampire transformation... very unique. And I thought every kind of vampire book that could be written was written. I'm kind of wondering how Darius became a vampire in the first place. Wait, don't tell me. He was bitten. Yep, like you, vampire books don't interest me much. But this one sounds new, so I'll take a look at it.

I just noticed this review and it made me laugh a LOT.

You win the award for Best Line Ever in a Vampire Book Review....
"It’s like I am challenging vampire writers to try and impress the ultimate vampire hater."

This review is so entertaining! I am a jaded vampire book lover. This sounds fantastic. It reminds me of the book Generation V by M. L. Brennan. I am adding this to my to-read list.

I swear I had no idea that anyone had commented on this review after I made the last comment. I was intentionally ignoring anyone even before I took my leave of absence to enter the nuthouse.

Anyway, yes, I loved this book. Go read it, now!

And I don't really remember why he was a vampire. I think it's hereditary and his mom is a vampire. Yes, that sounds right. Maybe his mom was on the Reds but she worked the night shift at whatever her job was, just to make it easy on her to avoid sunlight. I can't really remember the details. OH!!!! And she had HIV2! The vampire form of HIV, contracted through drinking blood. Something like that. It totally made sense when I was reading it. Anyway, yeah, Nice book.