Official Review: The Weatherman by Tyreese Walton
-
jmalone1994
- Posts: 162
- Joined: 04 Dec 2013, 00:44
- Favorite Book: Ink Exchange
- Currently Reading: The Blood of Olympus
- Bookshelf Size: 22
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jmalone1994.html
- Latest Review: "The Weatherman" by Tyreese Walton
Official Review: The Weatherman by Tyreese Walton
[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The Weatherman" by Tyreese Walton.]
1 out of 4 stars
Share This Review
Review of The Weatherman by Tyreese Walton
The Weatherman by Tyreese Walton is a young adult short story about sixteen year old Channing Law who also happens to be a superhero. Channing must decide between keeping his identity secret or sharing with the world the face that resides under the mask. However, as Channing makes his decision, he finds that balancing both his superhero and civilian lives might be more than he can handle.
The idea behind The Weatherman is very intriguing, however, the plot itself lacks any sort of execution. The story begins with Channing’s debate whether or not to reveal his secret identity to the public. His inner debate, rather than combing through the pros and cons of revealing his identity, comes off more as a needless rambling monologue.
After Channing makes his decision, the short story quickly ends. The reader is not shown how the decision affects the character’s life or any other changes that might have occurred due to this decision. Rather than following the normal conflict, climax, and resolution path that is the backbone of most stories, this story gives what is basically a lengthy introduction and then ends with no warning.
Along with lacking a proper plotline, there are also some major mechanical errors in this story. There are some minor misspellings that occur such as adding an s on a word that was not meant to be plural or cases where letters were switched incorrectly. There were also multiple grammar mistakes such as lack of punctuation and capitalization, however, the most blatant mistake is the overuse of hyphens throughout the story. Overall, it seems as if the story was not proofread at all to find and fix these simple mistakes.
Lastly, the writing of this story is simple and almost elementary. Many of the sentences are phrased in ways that make them confusing and difficult to understand. An example of this can be seen in the following excerpt “But with labels I think they make everything better.” The “they” refers to the word labels again however, this is difficult to understand based on the phrasing. This type of phrasing is present often within the story.
Overall, I think that this story had a great premise to work with, but, it was not executed at all. I think that if the execution is improved and the mechanical errors are corrected, this could become a very good short story or novel. However, at its present state I would rate this short story 1 out of 4 stars.
******
The Weatherman
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on Smashwords
Like jmalone1994's review? Post a comment saying so!
1 out of 4 stars
Share This Review
Review of The Weatherman by Tyreese Walton
The Weatherman by Tyreese Walton is a young adult short story about sixteen year old Channing Law who also happens to be a superhero. Channing must decide between keeping his identity secret or sharing with the world the face that resides under the mask. However, as Channing makes his decision, he finds that balancing both his superhero and civilian lives might be more than he can handle.
The idea behind The Weatherman is very intriguing, however, the plot itself lacks any sort of execution. The story begins with Channing’s debate whether or not to reveal his secret identity to the public. His inner debate, rather than combing through the pros and cons of revealing his identity, comes off more as a needless rambling monologue.
After Channing makes his decision, the short story quickly ends. The reader is not shown how the decision affects the character’s life or any other changes that might have occurred due to this decision. Rather than following the normal conflict, climax, and resolution path that is the backbone of most stories, this story gives what is basically a lengthy introduction and then ends with no warning.
Along with lacking a proper plotline, there are also some major mechanical errors in this story. There are some minor misspellings that occur such as adding an s on a word that was not meant to be plural or cases where letters were switched incorrectly. There were also multiple grammar mistakes such as lack of punctuation and capitalization, however, the most blatant mistake is the overuse of hyphens throughout the story. Overall, it seems as if the story was not proofread at all to find and fix these simple mistakes.
Lastly, the writing of this story is simple and almost elementary. Many of the sentences are phrased in ways that make them confusing and difficult to understand. An example of this can be seen in the following excerpt “But with labels I think they make everything better.” The “they” refers to the word labels again however, this is difficult to understand based on the phrasing. This type of phrasing is present often within the story.
Overall, I think that this story had a great premise to work with, but, it was not executed at all. I think that if the execution is improved and the mechanical errors are corrected, this could become a very good short story or novel. However, at its present state I would rate this short story 1 out of 4 stars.
******
The Weatherman
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on Smashwords
Like jmalone1994's review? Post a comment saying so!
Latest Review: "The Weatherman" by Tyreese Walton
