Official Review: Kingdom Of Scaba by MK Alsulaimani

Please use this sub-forum to discuss any young adult books.
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Official Review: Kingdom Of Scaba by MK Alsulaimani

Post by Manang Muyang »

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Kingdom Of Scaba" by MK Alsulaimani.]
Book Cover
2 out of 4 stars
Share This Review


Welcome to Scaba, a kingdom beneath the Earth! Enjoy its many scenic wonders: green skies and feather-soft blue grass, a rainbow-colored desert, and a serpentine jungle with carnivorous trees, to name some. Meet its unique animals, including colorful, fluffy ponies as small as cats (called moback) for pets, elephants and zebras of all colors for transportation, fire-breathing flying tigers (called enar) for generating power, and colossal ducks that spew stones from their mouths (called azoufa) for security. Two tribes populate the kingdom, the Shakam (with a human body, a lion head, and a tail) and the Makash (with a human body, a three-horned cobra head, and two spiral tails). The King, Bermuda, is Shakam and his army commander, Commander Falca, is Makash.

Scaba was formerly ruled by a benevolent king who was killed by traitors. These traitors also gravely wounded Princess Filda, then pregnant. When Filda awoke from a long coma, Bermuda had already risen to the throne. Her husband Medan, the former army commander who allegedly masterminded the killing of her father, was believed dead. King Bermuda, in fulfillment of a promise to her father, took Filda in and allowed her to live in the palace together with her son, Prince Dushan. Unbeknownst to Princess Filda, King Bermuda was the brains behind her father's untimely death.

To ensure the loyalty of his fellow Shakam, King Bermuda pampers them by giving them slaves to cater to their every whim. These slaves are human children who are kidnapped from the human world by the king’s human cohort, Solar the Magician. For entertainment, King Bermuda enjoys watching dangerous games where he pits human kids against each other. The Makash guards ensure that no human child who enters Scaba ever escapes. Princess Filda is against the taking of human children and their enslavement, but she is powerless to change the situation.

One day, however, Solar picks the wrong children to kidnap. The new abductees, twins Jamal and Lillian and five strong-willed teenagers, refuse to be cowed into submission. They plot to escape Scaba with the help of Princess Filda. The book details their various attempts to escape. Will they outwit the fearsome Makash guards? Will King Bermuda's reign of tyranny finally end?

MK Alsulaimani, an Arabian author, blends the magic of Harry Potter, snatches from Greek mythology, and the antics of Home Alone in his debut fantasy novel, Kingdom of Scaba. We are served a generous helping of spells and curses, long-hidden secrets, puzzling riddles, and even DNA-based experiments!

The characters are thoroughly described, and a few pages are dedicated to the individual back stories. Young readers can easily pick a favorite among the human children. The vicious nature and motives of the villains are also sufficiently established. The author, however, fails to name the benevolent king; this critical failure confuses the reader as the novel uses a lot of flashbacks. To confound the reader even more, the names of the characters are misspelled many times. Sisimi becomes Sisami. Dushan is Dashan at times. Dany is also Danny. The Makash are called Makashan too.

The author tried to make the story as exciting as he could, by including many fight scenes, endowing the children with telepathy to communicate with animals, and giving them special powers that can be accessed by extreme concentration. He also came up with several plot twists to add tension and complexity. His heroic efforts, however, did not save the story from falling flat.

The author is obviously not familiar with the English language and would benefit greatly from the services of a skilled editor. He uses long paragraphs to describe a simple scene, belaboring the obvious. The whole text is riddled with adverbs and long descriptive phrases, highlighting his inability to show and not tell. Many times, the word used is clearly inappropriate. There are also numerous grammar lapses and misspellings. Note the following examples:
Falca nodded his head, showing as much obedience as possible.

He passed them by without being notice, but suddenly one of the guards said to him in an investigative way, “Stop.”

The snake started oozing her tongue irritably inside her mouth.

“These four human children have violated the roles of Scaba.”

Adam’s jealousy moved up.
The tedious storytelling and the numerous grammatical errors keep the reader from having an enjoyable reading experience.

I admire the author for his brave attempt to write an English novel. I laud his fertile imagination in creating a majestic world with an interesting history, unique animals and creatures, and mystifying secrets. However, I am unable to give the novel more than 2 out of 4 stars. A thorough editing may be able to shorten the book considerably, rendering it more concise and infinitely more appealing.

I believe children up to 12 years are the best audience for this story. There are lessons to learn like friendship, honesty, forgiveness, and teamwork. Preteens will have fun drawing the various bizarre creatures and animals and rooting for their favorite characters as they embark on their outlandish exploits. The younger ones can enjoy it as a bedtime story, much like a beloved fairy tale. Older readers may find the story too juvenile for their enjoyment.

******
Kingdom Of Scaba
View: on Bookshelves

Like Miriam Molina's review? Post a comment saying so!
User avatar
Kelebogile Mbangi
Posts: 913
Joined: 28 May 2017, 05:20
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 123
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kelebogile-mbangi.html
Latest Review: At Day's End, I'll Always Be Me by Jerry A. Greenberg

Post by Kelebogile Mbangi »

I really like the plot of the book, however, I can't bear it when authors take forever to get to the point.

Thank you for the thorough, well written review Miriam. :)
"And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!" - Dr. Seuss
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

Hi, Kelebogile Mbangi! The story will be a good one for kids if the editorial issues will be resolved. I was thinking of making it a comic book with illustrations. Do you see that working here?
El-kanah
Posts: 139
Joined: 16 Jun 2017, 11:32
Bookshelf Size: 11
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-el-kanah.html
Latest Review: "Who Told You That You Were Naked?" by William Combs

Post by El-kanah »

The entire story plot is amazing, but the fact that the book includes a lot of errors makes it irritating. But it's a nice story to give a try.
Latest Review: "Who Told You That You Were Naked?" by William Combs
User avatar
kandscreeley
Special Discussion Leader
Posts: 11760
Joined: 31 Dec 2016, 20:31
Bookshelf Size: 495
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kandscreeley.html
Latest Review: The Elf Revelation by Jordan David

Post by kandscreeley »

It sounds like an interesting plot. I enjoy the thought of a kingdom beneath the earth. However, from the examples you give, I think it would annoy me to death. Still, maybe with some serious editing, this could be a good read. Thanks for the review.
A book is a dream you hold in your hands.
—Neil Gaiman
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

El-kanah wrote:The entire story plot is amazing, but the fact that the book includes a lot of errors makes it irritating. But it's a nice story to give a try.
Actually, I was more amused than irritated. I couldn't tell if it was because I had to read the book to the end.

Children will enjoy it, if an adult can read it to them at bedtime. They will love listening while cuddling a stuffed moback.

-- 17 Aug 2017, 09:47 --
kandscreeley wrote:It sounds like an interesting plot. I enjoy the thought of a kingdom beneath the earth. However, from the examples you give, I think it would annoy me to death. Still, maybe with some serious editing, this could be a good read. Thanks for the review.
Oh my, please don't read it. If you die, OBC will lose one of its best reviewers! LOL.

Thanks for reading and making me smile. The book actually made me chuckle a lot, albeit for the wrong reasons.
User avatar
Amagine
Posts: 5441
Joined: 04 Mar 2017, 19:27
Favorite Author: James Patterson
Bookshelf Size: 721
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-amagine.html
Latest Review: "Salome and Gogo visit Soweto" by Cora Groenewald
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG
fav_author_id: 3251

Post by Amagine »

It's too bad the book is filled with grammatical errors and is too long. It sounds like it has a lot of potential though.

Great Review! ?
"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." -A.A Milne

"I am grateful for all the books that sparked my imagination." -Unknown
Latest Review: "Salome and Gogo visit Soweto" by Cora Groenewald
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

[img]
[/img]
Amagine wrote:It's too bad the book is filled with grammatical errors and is too long. It sounds like it has a lot of potential though.

Great Review! ?
Thanks for reading and commenting, Amagine. Yes, I hope the author will be able to fix the problems.
User avatar
ritah
Posts: 588
Joined: 24 Jun 2017, 06:52
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... 03345">The Darziods' Stone</a>
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 184
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ritah.html
Latest Review: The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life... by Dr. Allen Lycka & Harriet Tinka

Post by ritah »

I loved reading your review, it was so entertaining. I loved how you introduced the book. It almost sounded interesting until the excerpts were shared. I hope the author revises the book cause it does seem like it has potential.
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

ritah wrote:I loved reading your review, it was so entertaining. I loved how you introduced the book. It almost sounded interesting until the excerpts were shared. I hope the author revises the book cause it does seem like it has potential.
Thanks so much, Ritah. I get a high out of writing reviews. I long to write and this is great practice.
User avatar
The Researcher
Posts: 563
Joined: 23 Jan 2017, 05:41
Currently Reading: Buried Threads
Bookshelf Size: 101
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-the-researcher.html
Latest Review: "Curve Couture" by H M Irwing
Reading Device: B00I15SB16

Post by The Researcher »

I enjoyed reading your review a lot. You gave a very thorough review. The author's imagination is sure very creative from what you have written here.
What is the most special thing I did today- I was MYSELF. Happy and in love and unapologetically myself.
Latest Review: "Curve Couture" by H M Irwing
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

Thank you for your kind words, The Researcher!

The writer created a marvelous kingdom but had difficulty telling his story. I hope he will have the energy to improve it. Who knows it may well be the next Disney hit?
User avatar
The Researcher
Posts: 563
Joined: 23 Jan 2017, 05:41
Currently Reading: Buried Threads
Bookshelf Size: 101
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-the-researcher.html
Latest Review: "Curve Couture" by H M Irwing
Reading Device: B00I15SB16

Post by The Researcher »

Miriam Molina wrote:Thank you for your kind words, The Researcher!

The writer created a marvelous kingdom but had difficulty telling his story. I hope he will have the energy to improve it. Who knows it may well be the next Disney hit?
Yes i fully agree with you.
What is the most special thing I did today- I was MYSELF. Happy and in love and unapologetically myself.
Latest Review: "Curve Couture" by H M Irwing
User avatar
juliusotinyo
Posts: 762
Joined: 15 Jun 2017, 10:19
Bookshelf Size: 49
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-juliusotinyo.html
Latest Review: Marrying a Playboy Billionaire by H M Irwing

Post by juliusotinyo »

Scaba the underground kingdom... With a green sky! Really, is the sky made of grass? You wrote an entertaining review, but it seems this book may not be for me.
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11224
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: The Cult Next Door
Bookshelf Size: 697
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

juliusotinyo wrote:Scaba the underground kingdom... With a green sky! Really, is the sky made of grass? You wrote an entertaining review, but it seems this book may not be for me.
In Lala Land, imagination is the limit.

Thanks for reading and commenting, Juliusotinyo.
Post Reply

Return to “Young Adult Fiction Books”