Official Review: Who Hears While Not Listening?

[Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Who Hears While Not Listening?" by Alim M. Bey.]

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1 out of 4 stars

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Who Hears While Not Listening? is a non-fiction book about the effect of poor communication on the family. The author, Alim M. Bey, notes that family structures are breaking down. He attributes it to poor communication between parents and their children. He feels that parents are often too engrossed in their own worlds to really listen to their children. He observes that some children make mistakes and wrong choices in the process of growing up. He feels they would not have made those mistakes if they had been properly guided by their parents. He attributes some criminal behavior exhibited by young people to lack of guidance and poor communication with their parents. He gives an example of a child who was totally unprepared for puberty. She suffered severe mental anguish when she observed the changes in her body because she thought they were abnormal. He also gave some examples of effective communication between parents and their children. The author strongly condemns beating children who want to express themselves. He adds a nice political angle to it by discussing political leaders who do not listen to the masses. He does this discreetly without mentioning any names.

The book is targeted at adults and parents who do not pay attention to their children. The author's passion for children is evident in this book. He appears to be genuinely concerned about their welfare. I admire and identify with his concern for children. He is so passionate about the subject matter that I wonder if he wrote this book because of his own personal childhood experiences.

I could relate to this topic because I have childhood friends who had difficulty communicating with their parents. One of them thought she had breast cancer when she noticed early changes in her chest region in childhood. Some of them felt that there were topics they could not talk to their parents about. I feel we should be close enough to our parents to tell them anything without the fear of being misunderstood. However, it will take some effort on the part of parents to make their children trust them enough to discuss freely with them.

While I understand and identify with the subject matter of this book, this is probably the worst book I have ever read. It had no clear outline or structure. It was filled with repetitions. Indeed, I believe that a good editor can reduce all the text to three pages. The sentences were sometimes very awkward and incoherent. It appeared to have been written by someone who learned English as a second language. If English is not the author's first language, I advise that the author should engage the services of a professional editor. I have never read a more badly written book. There were several grammatical and punctuation errors. There were missing commas, missing periods, missing phrases, and spelling errors. Some of the sentences were extremely long. There were paragraphs that contained only one long, awkward sentence. Sometimes, words were misused in sentences, and the statements lost their meaning entirely.

I found this book very hard to read and I struggled to finish reading the book. I rate this book 1 out of 4 stars. The one star is for the idea and the effort. I suggest that any reader who finds typographical errors very distracting should avoid reading this book. In its present poorly written and poorly edited state, I am afraid I cannot recommend it to anyone.

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Who Hears While Not Listening?
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[Kibet Hillary]

The introductory part of the review made me want to read the book. The errors mentioned should be corrected given that the author addresses an issue that I believe is very significant. It is indeed true that some things in families happen because of a breakdown in communication. We all admire families where there is a closeness that makes the children bold enough to speak on certain issues with their parents without fear. If this is what the author envisions, then the book with good editing will one day get somewhere better on the rating.

[crediblereading2]

Wow! It is such a pity that the language structure of this book is so poor, as you have stated. I, however, wholeheartedly agree with the author about his views on the lack of communication between the parents and their children. This has certainly created many negative influences in society today.

[cpru68]

One of the first confusing things for me that jumped out was the title. I had to read it a couple times to have it make sense to me. I understand that we cannot fully engage with another person if we are on ignore mode, but we can actually listen like robots without really hearing. Have you ever been talking to someone who seems like they aren't listening, and you say, "WHAT did I just say?" And, they annoyingly repeat back to you word for word what you just said!! But, what is missing is the emotional connection between speaker and receiver. So, from reading your review, it sounds like this person sees a problem with our society and how much we don't ACTIVELY listen, and I have to agree. We have phones in our hands and computer screens on at all times. Then, we relax in front of the television. It's too bad that the author wasn't able to bring this one home properly because it is a problem in our society, and children are suffering from the lack of physical eye contact by adults and having that feeling of closeness. The first portion of your review sounds like it was going to be a winner, but by end of your struggle to get through the book, it is quite apparent that this one should go back to the drawing board. Thank you for this review.

[Kanyin2000]

Totally me! I hate being disturbed when I'm reading. I get cranky too.

[Chigozie Anuli Mbadugha]

Thank you all for taking out time to read my review. I agree with you wholeheartedly. This is a very important topic and I would be glad if the author edited the book. The message is topical and useful for a lot of families today.

[revna01]

I was completely on board with this book until you said it was the worst book you've ever read! Lol! I didn't see that one coming. In any case, the author makes some tremendously valid and useful points that everyone can benefit from. I agree with so much of what you highlighted in your review. Unfortunately, if the book is not done professionally (or at least cohesively) it will not help anyone! Thank you for a great review

[Libs_Books]

What a shame - it does seem as though the author had really good intentions, but those aren't enough to make a book worth reading.

[kwame1977]

Its perfectly true that lack of communication is breaking families apart. This book is a useful manual for every family. Thanks for this insightful review.

[lbhatters]

One of the first confusing things for me that jumped out was the title. I had to read it a couple times to have it make sense to me. I understand that we cannot fully engage with another person if we are on ignore mode, but we can actually listen like robots without really hearing. Have you ever been talking to someone who seems like they aren't listening, and you say, "WHAT did I just say?" And, they annoyingly repeat back to you word for word what you just said!! But, what is missing is the emotional connection between speaker and receiver. So, from reading your review, it sounds like this person sees a problem with our society and how much we don't ACTIVELY listen, and I have to agree. We have phones in our hands and computer screens on at all times. Then, we relax in front of the television. It's too bad that the author wasn't able to bring this one home properly because it is a problem in our society, and children are suffering from the lack of physical eye contact by adults and having that feeling of closeness. The first portion of your review sounds like it was going to be a winner, but by end of your struggle to get through the book, it is quite apparent that this one should go back to the drawing board. Thank you for this review.

I think that the foundation of the problems in society is because we don't pay attention to, listen to, or play games with our children. The cover is perfect for the topic and it is too bad if the author didn't take the time to properly proofread.