Like This

[Alex-G]

(Also posted on my blog)

"Why are you like this?" she grumbled, her blunt nails leaving crescent bruises embedded in his skin.

She let go and he stumbled back a few steps. She sneered and sat down right where she was, on the hardwood floor of their dining room, head level with the edge of the table. It'd hurt if he pushed her sideways with just the right amount of pressure... the sharp corner could leave bruises on her instead. It was a fantasy he never stopped feeling guilty for.

"I dunno," he said and knelt before her. He took a small breath, licked his lips, tried to meet her eye. "Maybe the Goddess wanted-"

"The Goddess? Don't talk to me of your Goddess, kid."

"Was yours once too."

"Lots of things were. You, for instance. But now? I don't know who you are." The truth of it stabbed them both and twisted.

He crawled forward till he could touch their foreheads. He expected her to flinch away but she didn't, just eyed him coldly. "I'm your son," he spoke the words that should fix it all. She smiled at him, her look stunk of pity.

"My son couldn't do what you have." She cupped his cheeks with her hands, thumbs stroking across his bones.

"Sacrifices have to be made." He countered, feeding back the words she'd given him so long ago.

"Yeah, yeah I guess they do."

He felt bone crack and a numb chill overcame his body and nothing much else. She stood, slow and graceful, her cotton skirt skimming over the floor. He could just about feel the fabric brushing against his arm.

There'd be more than bruising this time.

[CSM-writer]

This is really interesting material. Obviously the first part of the story is needed to understand the situation that's being described here because I had to read it a couple of times before I got the idea of what's going on.
Otherwise, what you have written here is very "edge-of-your-seat" suspenseful. I like it.

[Sarah_Khan]

Excellent writing! This is so interesting... I need the full story!

[Book_Worm-Dragon]

Started out interesting right away! I don't think I fully understand it without the first part, but I love this so far. It has the potential to be a very gripping, can't-be-put-down read.

[Natasha_Smith]

Pretty neat! I would love to read more. One thing to be careful of is POV issues, but it's pretty minor. Overall the descriptive element and element of horror is fantastic.