Only God knows why the soldiers believed her

[Marianaleivap]

It was my sophomore year of business administration at the National University and the fifth year in the civil war. The last few years were definitely the worst. As well as the guerrilla the army recruited and abducted young people who could help them. My sister and I lived in apartment 23 on the third floor of the building. It was now two years since we had gone to the capital without the help of our mother. She, terrified by the severity of the conflict in the capital and more in the university, decided to take away her help, hoping we decided not to go. The national university was known as the cradle of the guerrillas, both my sister and I had met teachers and students of brilliant minds that were given to the orders of the guerrillas for some social justice under the motto that the future would be for the people, the workers and that humanity was moving towards the conquest of a better world.
One day at about 7 at night my sister and I were each in our rooms tired from our busy day of classes and part-time jobs that along with the help of our brother who sent us money from the United States allow us to pay the tuition and the rent. We both had fallen asleep when two soldiers arrived at the building looking for all students from the National University because they had heard that members of the sect of the MER, a guerrilla sect, lived in those departments. One by one each department was inspected. When the soldiers knocked on our door and there was no answer they began to beat louder the door and a lady who lived next door said to the soldiers ¨there are no students. They are old deaf woman those living there¨ God knows why they believed them but they continued inspecting the apartments. Upon retiring they found a sheep. ¨Meeeeeer Meeeeer¨ shouted the ewe feeling the pressure and fear the students had. With a shot a soldier stop the howling of the sheep. ¨So you too are one of those MER, damn sheep¨ The next day the neighbors came to visit us and told us what had happened, partly because they were worried about us and partly because they wanted to know why we had not opened the door. We told them we had come tired and we had both gone to bed early and we had not heard anything.
That one time we were saved by that lady who came in our defense. It was not that we got along so well with her. Most of the time we were not at home and usually we went only to sleep. But only God knows why the lady came out to defend us and why the soldiers believed her.

[chytach18-]

Nice story, Marianaleivap. I think you need to develop a little more the neighbour's character as she is playing a significant role in the story. Make sure that you are consistent how you want to call the national university. Once you wrote "the national University"; another time there was "the national university". I am not sure if I follow the meaning of the following extract: "They are old deaf woman those living there¨ God knows why they believed them but they continued inspecting the apartments. Upon retiring they found a sheep. ¨Meeeeeer Meeeeer¨ shouted the ewe feeling the pressure and fear the students had. With a shot a soldier stop the howling of the sheep. ¨So you too are one of those MER, damn sheep¨". Check the punctuation and possibly missing words. Anyway, the idea id very good. It could be developed into very interesting story.

[DATo]

A short but captivating story which held my interest from beginning to end.

[Marianaleivap]

Nice story, Marianaleivap. I think you need to develop a little more the neighbour's character as she is playing a significant role in the story. Make sure that you are consistent how you want to call the national university. Once you wrote "the national University"; another time there was "the national university". I am not sure if I follow the meaning of the following extract: "They are old deaf woman those living there¨ God knows why they believed them but they continued inspecting the apartments. Upon retiring they found a sheep. ¨Meeeeeer Meeeeer¨ shouted the ewe feeling the pressure and fear the students had. With a shot a soldier stop the howling of the sheep. ¨So you too are one of those MER, damn sheep¨". Check the punctuation and possibly missing words. Anyway, the idea id very good. It could be developed into very interesting story.

Thank you so much for your opinion! I really apreciated that you took the time to read it. I'll check the puntuation to make the story more understandable. However that part is was when the soldiers where about to inspect in the sisters apartment and the neighbour defent them saying that there were no students there that there live two deaf old ladies. They believed that and when they where about to leave they find thay sheep and killed because she was saying meeer that was the name of the guerrilla organization. Thank you again for you opinion!!

-- 26 Mar 2016, 17:20 --

A short but captivating story which held my interest from beginning to end.

Thanks for your opinion! This story is very important to me because it was inspired by one of the stories my mom have told me about her life(she was the girl studing in the university). She studied in the time of the civil wat in my country but also this story is part of every day life of some people in my country.

[ameliahulse]

Amazingly written

[versetab]

Really well written