Vulnerability

[Sundae Tobias]

I don't ...

I can't ...

It's too much.

My heart constricts, fingers tingling and throat clogged.

My breathing started to get heavy.

It just shows how much of a coward I am.

It just screams weakness to me.

Letting another person try to understand who you are, is just not in my book. I can't even understand myself, so how can another understand me?

I could give you what I think. Not how I feel.

However, with you. With you I want to be vulnerable, but I can't get myself to be. I just reel myself back in.

I only want to show you my strengths, and how much of a great person I am.

When in all actuality, I am not.

I can't help but wonder, do I deserve you?

I know for a fact that I don't, but the thought of you with someone else is an arrow to my heart.

Or perhaps, it's in my twisted mind that gives me great pleasure when you're pursuing me and that my selfish and narcissistic self can't accept that you'd like someone else.

Another problem is that, as these drops run down my face it confirms how scared I am.

I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

I told you I was good at taking risks but uncertainty certainly makes me anxious.

I don't know where I stand with you.

It's hilarious how I think I'm standing on the edge, when in reality I've already fallen.

It makes me more aware of the things that I'm not.

And now I'm just in this void I call myself that it's not me that has the control I just am aware of the things that happens.

The limbs feels like lead. The heart beats faster. The stomach in knots. The eyes continues to water.

And then,




















there was blood.

There's also this absurd thought that by some unknown miracle you'd be able to see this. You'd somehow come across this and immediately know that this is me.

That in a way you'd get a glimpse of what kind of monster I am.

And that maybe, you'd still be there to catch me.

Surroundings are blurring, the head seems to be pounding.

And finally I succumb to the darkness.

[Zupanatural]

Good job, Sundae In short or micro-fiction you have to make every word count & you've definitely done that. I particularly like the confusion & contradiction- those aren't easy things to get across, especially in such a short piece of writing.

[Sundae Tobias]

Good job, Sundae In short or micro-fiction you have to make every word count & you've definitely done that. I particularly like the confusion & contradiction- those aren't easy things to get across, especially in such a short piece of writing.

I actually wrote this during a particular bad day so thank you for the feedback. It's much appreciated.

[Njengnjoro]

Masterfully done, Sundae.

[Sundae Tobias]

Thank you