Unlike me, she's happy

[Emiko07]

Constructive criticisms and thoughts on the story are very welcomed!



I have a friend. Her name is Tulic. She's very pretty and kind. Her smooth skin bounces off the lights, long wavy golden hair locks, painted nails, an hourglass body, and plump pink lips every boy wants to kiss.
She loves to tell stories, about anything. She can't stop unless you told her so. She's very lively, outgoing, bubbly, kind, and If I were a boy I'd definitely fall in love with her sparkly eyes.

We met in math class, she asked me to help her with her assignment. Im an outsider but she choose to ask my help, so it's a surprise for me; no one really talks to me. And then we became best friends since then.

One day, at 2 AM in the morning my phone rang. It was from Tulic.

"Hello?" I asked

I heard sobbing from the phone speaker.
"Come to my house, I need you" She said while hiccupping and sobbing between words and hung up.

I rushed to her house, not bringing anything and only wore a pair of pink pajamas. her house is only a few blocks away. I stood in front of her gigantic luxurious house, pressing the doorbell. a few second later an old man wearing a tuxedo, who is a butler, opened the gate and front door for me for I'm quite well-known in this place. I reached upstairs and went to her bedroom.

She lifted up her head when I barged in. Her make up was drenched in tears, I assumed she was crying for hours. She was facing the wall, hugging her knees tightly. I hate to admit she looks horrible at the time.
I immediately hugged her, and she welcomed it. I rubbed her back in circular motion while shushing her, saying to her that I'm there for her no matter what.

After a few minutes of trying to calm her. She thanked me and starts to tell me what's wrong.
She broke up with her boyfriend, Vick. Vick cheated on her and admitted it about an hour ago. I only nodded in understanding. I ended up staying for the night at her place.

That was not the only problem she has to face. After that night, her mom and dad had to work overseas, leaving her alone at home with the maids and butlers. Because of that, I visit her house every night. A few days later, she was dumped again by her boyfriend and rejected by her new crush.

I always try to cheer her up, making her laugh and smile almost every hour. Not long after the rejection, her friends backstabbed her, accusing her for stealing their make up supplies. I stood up for her although they made fun of me. I made her homework every day because she was too tied up with her problems. I comfort her every time she cries.

I would do anything for her to be happy enough to continue on living, unlike me. Unlike me, no one would do anything for me, neither my parents nor Tulic. She doesn't even know my birthday date, let alone my story.

Unfortunately, she decided to move overseas where her parents work. She had enough of this place, she wants to be with her family again, she wants to start over, start a new life.
"Goodbye Leily, see you next time" And only with that, she left me behind with a few goodbyes and farewells.

Ah, how beautiful the sun is when it sets at the airport. What a shame I can't see it clearly with the tears obscuring my eyes. I couldn't see her plane taking off with these tears in my eyes, I have to get rid of them, but I can't, they kept flowing. This is the first time in awhile I've cried from pain, I thought I was emotionally numb from my last heartbreak.

She meant everything to me, at the end then she walked away.

I wish she could at least give me something in return after all I did for her.

I was left alone again, being an anomic person once again.

I wonder how long will I survive in this world with this riven heart.

[DesireeRose]

Wow. I love it. There were a couple grammatical errors, but other than that, it was perfect. I felt emotionally connected to the character immediately. I feel her pain on a personal level. Well done.

[Ekah Emmanuel]

This story is nice, and I love the fact that it is short so as to avoid boring it's readers to death. After glancing through this story the first time I saw it and taking time to read it later on I got to know that, leily is a lonely girl, leily is a girl without friends but it's not as if she never wanted a friend but no one ever came close to her. (The writer should state why no one ever talked to her, was she boring, was she not social, you should give us a reason why leily never had a friend all this time) leily is a lonely girl and any lonely person who later finds a friend would never want to loose that friend for anything which is while leily feels used and abandoned when tulic goes back to her parents. tulic had gone through so much heartbreak from her boyfriend and condemnation from her crush so she needed someone to be with her through these difficult times, she needed a shoulder to cry on while leily felt she had a friend, she never knew tulic would leave her and go back to her parents. After all I have written here you would know that tulic is a girl who was in need of a shoulder to cry on while leily is a girl in need of a friend who would care about her the same way she cares about that friend. This is a nice story but you need to give every detail when telling a story, just like when you failed to tell us why leily never had a friend before tulic came around. It is not a major mistake though but you need to put your best into everything you do so that that thing would be greatly recognized and appreciated for its quality and best. Nice work