First Day of School

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
Post Reply
User avatar
RachelEmmanuel
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 May 2020, 19:46
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 56
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-rachelemmanuel.html
Latest Review: Daddy’s Baby Mama’s Maybe by Come Lamore
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG

First Day of School

Post by RachelEmmanuel »

Susan turned off the alarm clock and rolled over in bed. She lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling. She had been looking forward to and dreading this day all week. Shoving her cold feet into her fluffy slippers, she padded across the hardwood floor to Nicky's room. He was asleep, a mop of tousled hair peeking above his dark blue comforter.
"Hey buddy," Susan whispered, almost too softly.
Nicky's head popped up instantly. "I'm up!"
Susan laughed.
"First day of school," she said.
Nicky grinned."Yes! See you downstairs!"
Susan made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Nanny Janice was sitting at the end of the table.
"Good morning Susan," Nanny Janice said.
Susan did not respond.
Susan poured herself a cup of coffee, put some bacon into a pan, and started on scrambled eggs. Nicky needed a big breakfast today.
Nicky came running down the stairs just as Susan was plating the eggs and bacon along with a thick slice of toast.
"Slowly," she warned as Nicky shoved the food down his throat.
"Don't want to be late," he mumbled with his mouth full.
Susan watched him lovingly.
"So what's the most important thing you should remember today?" she asked.
"Have fun?" Nicky said, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin.
Susan smiled. "Well yes, I want you to have fun but that's not the most important thing."
"Study hard."
Susan clicked her tongue.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about," she said.
"Find a girlfriend?" Nicky was grinning.
Susan narrowed her eyes.
"Nicky..."
Nicky leaned over and kissed his mom on the head.
"I know, mom. I'll be safe."
Susan smiled.
"Good boy... oh and don't forget to return Nanny Janice to the office. They will need her for the Elementary Department."
Nicky stepped over and grabbed Nanny Janice. He opened her at the back, took out the batteries, and stuffed her into his backpack."
"We can reuse the batteries," he said.
"Do you have everything you need?" Susan asked.
Nicky looked into his backpack. "Mask, gloves, sanitizer, face shield. Check, check, check, and check."
"Well, I guess it's time," Susan said. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home another year? You know there's no law that says you have start this year..."
Nicky rolled his eyes in horror. "Mom! I'm already the oldest in my class because my birthday is in October. Most of my friends already turned 15 and started school last year!"
Susan sighed. "I know, I know. It's just that you'll be spending 7 hours with 5 other kids and a teacher, once a week, every week, from now on."
"Didn't you spend every day at school when you were a kid?" Nicky asked, "I wonder what that was like..."
Susan smiled sadly.
"I don't remember," she said.
1 Cor 15: 19-20, 26 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
User avatar
angela roura
Posts: 82
Joined: 24 Jun 2020, 09:41
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 16
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-angela-roura.html
Latest Review: The Tempter's Bane by Kyle McCurry

Post by angela roura »

What a good short story that references the times we live in today... I'm lucky to have just finished my senior year and be starting college in the realm of COVID.
User avatar
RachelEmmanuel
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 May 2020, 19:46
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 56
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-rachelemmanuel.html
Latest Review: Daddy’s Baby Mama’s Maybe by Come Lamore
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG

Post by RachelEmmanuel »

angela roura wrote: 12 Jul 2020, 18:45 What a good short story that references the times we live in today... I'm lucky to have just finished my senior year and be starting college in the realm of COVID.
Thanks! As a parent I'm dealing with when or even whether my kids are going back to school. This story just kind of wrote itself. :)
1 Cor 15: 19-20, 26 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
sybilsalins
Posts: 13
Joined: 25 Jun 2020, 08:38
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by sybilsalins »

Such a perfectly apt short story for today, a time when it is unsafe to be around your peers without taking adequate safety measures. The predicament of a caring mother as she sends her son to school, fears of a new kind weigh down her mind, it's the new normal they say. The story though short absolutely captures the essence of the day and time we live in.
User avatar
Taraorie
Posts: 1
Joined: 13 Jul 2020, 07:50
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Taraorie »

That was a really good short story. I am just wondering the age of the author.
User avatar
RachelEmmanuel
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 May 2020, 19:46
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 56
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-rachelemmanuel.html
Latest Review: Daddy’s Baby Mama’s Maybe by Come Lamore
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG

Post by RachelEmmanuel »

Taraorie wrote: 13 Jul 2020, 08:04 That was a really good short story. I am just wondering the age of the author.
In my mind this story is written maybe 40 - 45 years in the future. Susan represents someone who is a young child in school in our time, and then grows up to have a child of her own in a Post- COVID world. Thanks for commenting!
1 Cor 15: 19-20, 26 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
User avatar
RachelEmmanuel
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 May 2020, 19:46
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 56
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-rachelemmanuel.html
Latest Review: Daddy’s Baby Mama’s Maybe by Come Lamore
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG

Post by RachelEmmanuel »

sybilsalins wrote: 13 Jul 2020, 04:42 Such a perfectly apt short story for today, a time when it is unsafe to be around your peers without taking adequate safety measures. The predicament of a caring mother as she sends her son to school, fears of a new kind weigh down her mind, it's the new normal they say. The story though short absolutely captures the essence of the day and time we live in.
Yes, and the worries about whether we will ever get back to " normal" as far as school is concerned. Thanks!
1 Cor 15: 19-20, 26 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
User avatar
DATo
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 5795
Joined: 31 Dec 2011, 07:54
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by DATo »

@RachelEmmanuel

Very nicely done! You captured a 15 year-old perfectly with the joke responses to the "most important thing" question while eating quickly. Also, you very cleverly got the point across of how few people there are in a class and how little school time is available. In my own short stories I put an emphasis on the very end, usually with a twist ending. Though not exactly a twist I liked the way you ended it with the mother unable to recall the times when one went to school every day. These last lines of dialogue cleverly place the story in the future.

Good job! And thank you for sharing!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
User avatar
RachelEmmanuel
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 May 2020, 19:46
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 56
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-rachelemmanuel.html
Latest Review: Daddy’s Baby Mama’s Maybe by Come Lamore
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG

Post by RachelEmmanuel »

@DATo
Thank you for the feedback. I love stories with twist endings, where can I read yours?
1 Cor 15: 19-20, 26 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Short Stories”