The Bottom of my Negative Emotions.

[ohamadike4126]

I just feel empty and at the same time filled with so many emotions that I am not even sure if this world can carry them all, broken to the extent I can’t be fixed anymore am just fed up with all and wish it could all end in an instant.

I am down and don’t wish to stand anymore I want to be where I think it is ok for me mentally because I have no mental state.
I think god can’t understand my deep feelings, It just feels like my chest is gonna explode, my head heavy like the world is placed on my head to carry my body and spirit in an endless conflict where nothing could end nor begin.

I just feel like shouting, crying all in silence where no one could speak to me.
Just feel like drowning myself in my pit of blood where I could not feel a thing, not even an atom of this enormous districting emotion of mine that is just like a black hole swallowing me deep down and I don’t feel like fighting it just want to be left that way and get drown deep and deeper so this could all end but not in pain at least I have lived but hate the beautiful word life it’s self because it’s all full of positive emotions but filled me with its negative part and drowning in its dark hole.

I think I feel fit in it because there I can’t feel anything but myself drowning in the negative emotions the earth keeps sending at me nonstop but I feel comfortable in there, at least I don’t expect any positivity because it has always been negativity all my life and no one ever noticed.

I have been charged with negative feelings all my life and I don’t think I can ever be positively charged because I think I was born without positivity but with negativity, it’s been so all my life but I feel it’s the best way for me and I don't wanna fight because that's how I was created and I know my creator just created me just to watch me wipe and sorrowful in this emotionless and accursed world where only evil has the upper hand and the good and righteous one suffer for being who or what they are.

Everything is pointless as the pointless world made by the gods to watch their creations suffer and beg for the life they created just to toy with, we are just a plaything for children(the gods) who needed decide when they are tired of their toy and end its existence by just getting rid of it.