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baileerose9 wrote: ↑23 Feb 2018, 02:33 I often thought about going to a therapist and how he would want to know about my family background. I'd have to tell him about my brother, and he wouldn’t even wait till I finished to commit me. I’d tell him when it all started. How my brother would sit outside my door every night. He’d bang his head over and over, well, at least I think it was his head, I couldn’t tell since he was outside of my door. He’d bang on my door for a good 5 minutes, loud enough for me to hear, but never loud enough to alarm my parents. After he would bang and bang, he’d open my door and stare at me, the light of the hallway making his figure dark and terrifying. Sometimes he would mumble incoherent words that I couldn't understand, a made up language I assumed. Other times, he would laugh a very low and creepy laugh as he looked at me. Most of the time, he just stood and stared. He’d come in my room after some time and pet my head like I was a dog and make noises one would to a baby. Then he would slowly leave my room after about 30 minutes. I would be so scared, i’d sit in bed, up all night. Hence the reason my parents used to say I need to talk to a therapist, find out what was making me not sleep at night since I wouldn’t admit why I couldn’t sleep. One time, I came close to telling my parents, but I didn’t and that night, when he was petting my head, his hand pressed into my throat and his fingers wrapped around my neck, causing me to thrash around. The reason I wouldn’t tell is because I felt he would kill me finally. Like he did himself all those years ago. He has been a figment of my imagination for years, I know that he wasn’t really there, but his touch just feels so real, ya know?