Monkeys

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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jlrinc
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Monkeys

Post by jlrinc »

Monkeys watch the moonlight
In primal states of mind
One falls from the trees
To make a social climb
Soon he's quoting Rilke
As some debutantes plus one
To busy being idle
To remember what he's done

Nietzsche's not the answer
He just gets tired and bored
So he sneaks into a vineyard
Where the grapes of wrath are stored
Then, drunken, seeks a treetop
In peace there to revert
Keeping vigil for the Beagle
Darwin's feelings may be hurt
Latest Review: Burn Zones by Jorge P. Newbery
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Tobewankenobe
Posts: 83
Joined: 18 Jan 2020, 14:37
Currently Reading: Voulhire
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Post by Tobewankenobe »

Wow, this is a very interesting poem. I really love the metaphor in it. That being said there is a grammar mistake in the first stable. The 7th line down has the word "to" when it should be "too".
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