Couple of Minutes

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H_Glenn
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Joined: 12 Oct 2022, 20:45
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Couple of Minutes

Post by H_Glenn »

Couple of Minutes

He will never want me.
I can see it on his face when he looks at me.
I am only a place holder.
He will never fully possess the understanding of the complete love I have for him.
The way my chest breaks when he says my name,
the way my eyes burn when he pushes me away.
I’m used to the hurt,
to the absolute knowledge that I will never be good enough.

I will forever be the piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Because at least, every once in a while, he will think about me.
And for those few blissful moments, I will be happy.
For those couple of minutes,
I will be all he can think about while he scrapes me off,
leaving small bits of me behind that will be attached to him,
until the gory bits of time eat away at me.

I am sad.
I am sad for the little girl that looks for love in men that will never love her back.
I am sad for the unquestioning trust she hands over with her heart,
that will surely break time and time again.
She changes herself to fill their needs and leaves pieces of her soul in their lost and found that they will never look through.
I am sad because she sees things now that she didn’t see before.
Where their was a sunset, is now a glorious masterpiece of orange and purple that amazes her.
The empty fields are now beautiful gardens.
The background noise has turned to a melancholy melody that swoons her to sleep.

But, I am angry.
I am angry because even though I know he won’t be there,
that little girl still has hope.
Hope that he is the one.
Hope that she isn’t losing herself in a person that will come to abandon her.
I am angry because she loves him more than she loves herself.
And she breaks herself in pieces that she’s not sure how to put back.
I am angry because she gives everything inside her without demanding payment.
And hopes for the best without knowing for sure.

I am happy though.
I am happy because the soft glow of the morning light on his face is a godly experience.
I am happy for the way his hands caress my face while I dream of him.
Happy for the feeling of weightlessness that comes over me as his lips brush against mine.
Happy for the little girl that gets to hear his sweet I love you’s.
But I am sad and I am angry.
Because what that little girl doesn’t realize is this too will come to pass.
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