HEARD

[Simaloi Thayu]

I think I need to learn to speak without words,
To not have to say what I mean but still be heard,
To be able to say that I'm okay but for someone to ask what's wrong,
Cause they can tell from how I act that I'm barely holding on,

When I walk through the halls no one seems to notice,
That the quiet girl is screaming inside waiting for someone to ask this,
To ask how I'm doing and really mean it,
Not to just ask it as a common courtesy,
Cause they don't really care what you reply but don't expect you to say no,
And if you do, they just freak out, say that's too bad and go,

See, I don't have the nerve to walk up to you and ask for help,
I guess I'm just not as straightforward as everybody else,
Instead, I daydream that one day, someone will walk by,
That one day someone will finally hear my cry,
That they'll turn to me and tell me that I'm heard,
Let me know that I haven't been forgotten by the world,

That they'll sit down and tell me that they're ready to listen,
Even though they're busy cause they've been in my position,
Because they know what it feels like when your own silence is deafening,
When you're quiet on the outside but inside you're screaming,
That day, they'll tell me that it gets better,
That it's just a season in my life I'm passing through,
That it gets better when you lean on someone who cares about you,
And that they're willing to be that person for me,
And I think of how great that day will be,

But for now, I guess, I'll continue silently suffering,
I'll watch as people pass me by just doing their own thing,
How could I blame them? Who are they to know what I'm going through?
Who are they to know who I am and what I do?
I don't even know if I'm the only one,
Maybe the person seated next to me also needs someone,
And even if I wanted to help, who knows if I can?

Cause I'm broken too but I hope I won't stay this way,
So, I just keep surviving, keep going on every day,
Waiting for the day when it won't be this bad,
The day that I won't have to speak out loud to be heard,
For them to see the pain in my eyes when I fake a smile,
All the wounds in my soul and the heart that I pile,
All the depression that I carry,
All the hurt, confusion and worry,

See, I'm not even sure if I'm looking for a person or a reason,
To tell me that this emptiness only lasts for a season,
Till then, I'll own my pain as a mark of how far I'll have come,
As a remembrance of how I've grown and changed and of what I'll have done,
I hope that by then I'll have learnt to tell the signs,
To stop and listen to someone else who's screaming inside,
To tell them I know how it feels because I've been there,
That I'm gonna help cause all it takes is just one person to care.