Never could come up with a decent title

SM_Pow · Post by **SM_Pow** » 07 Aug 2015, 02:55

As my heart slowly dies
My pulse begins to slow
You see me close my eyes
And everything seems to ebb and flow
The darkness has come
To take me away
Please don't cry
For I'll be okay

The time has come
For me to go
It won't be painful
It won't be slow
So dry your eyes
Watch the fireflies
Think of my spirit
As it slowly begins to rise
Above the clouds
Above the skies

DATo · Post by **DATo** » 11 Aug 2015, 05:27

Nice poem SM_Pow. Might I suggest Departure as a title?

This theme obviously concerns an impending physical death but with a little tweaking you could leave the subject a bit ambiguous to suggest simply leaving the person to which the narrator addresses his/her words. This would add a little mystery to the theme which could then be interpreted either way.

Thanks for sharing!!! [:- )

LivreAmour217 · Post by **LivreAmour217** » 26 Oct 2015, 12:43

This is a lovely poem--it made me think of my late grandfather. I like DATo's suggestion for the title, too.

stoppoppingtheP · Post by **stoppoppingtheP** » 28 Oct 2015, 14:55

The last conversation. Or
Farewell flight.

Those are the two I thought of when reading your poem.

Leahaldrich · Post by **Leahaldrich** » 03 Nov 2015, 16:51

I agree with DAto; the title "Departure" would fit your poem well. Your word choice leaves us feeling like there is a physical departure, "My pulse begins to slow" and "You see me close my eyes." The references to body parts makes me immediately think of someone dying. As I think about it more this could also represent you departing from an emotional bond too. Your heart no longer beats rapidly for them, you close your eyes to them, and as you let yourself leave that emotional bond, your spirit slowly begins to rise. I like the title "Departure" because it is simple yet leaves your poem up for interpretation.