She

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Ramyanl
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Joined: 23 Sep 2016, 00:48
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She

Post by Ramyanl »

She talks to me,
Whispers to me in my ear,
Floats in my conscious,
Calls to me in my sleep,
Teases me, goads me, irritates me,
Finally resigned, When I gather my wits,
Don't know where she disappears,
I call to her, plead her, request her,
She simply smiles and vanishes in thin air,
When I leave her be,
She strikes me like a lightening flash!
Leaves me struck, drained and excited.
If you find this illogical,
You have never met her, Muse!,
She seizes your mind,
Then there only her you can find.
My dear! I wish you come back to me,
Let me let out my poetic fantasies,
And let me out into the literal world everyone sees...
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Clifora
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Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-clifora.html
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Post by Clifora »

Great poem! I don't really get who 'she' is though. Is the narrator in this poem unable to be seen by the world, or am I just unable to see the obvious?
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

— T.S. Eliot
Latest Review: "Before I Wake" by Seven Steps
Ramyanl
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Joined: 23 Sep 2016, 00:48
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Post by Ramyanl »

Actually she is poetic muse... I am a great fan of Robert Browning and often personify things, feelings etc... Thank you though for the comment.. glad you liked it
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feveredpoet
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Currently Reading: The Aeneid
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Post by feveredpoet »

i like it! it's got a good voice. there's a bit of unnecessary verbage, and an out of place line, that really stands out, in an attempt to use archaic word arrangements, but other than that, it's got some great sentiments. keep it up, and keep reading great poetry! :)
Ramyanl
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Joined: 23 Sep 2016, 00:48
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Post by Ramyanl »

Thank you... even I felt something was off with it... but as it's my latest poem I posted it first.
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