Loss for Words

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Hannah Marie
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Joined: 01 Oct 2016, 17:04
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Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-hannah-marie.html

Loss for Words

Post by Hannah Marie »

“Loss for words”

Blackberry bushes
tangle over and through
each word I wish to use
to write this the way
it is supposed to sound.
Knotted briers keep
snagging the sentence seams
and spilling sour juice
on my paper heart.
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Stor3y
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Post by Stor3y »

That last bit of imagery you use in the last two lines is very powerful. I'm also a big fan of -S- alliteration, brings to mind something serpentine.

Very cool poem Hannah!
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

A very nice bit of metaphor there. Anyone who has tried to write poetry and is also familiar with blackberry bushes knows exactly what you're talking about.

Well done!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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Hannah Marie
Posts: 18
Joined: 01 Oct 2016, 17:04
Bookshelf Size: 12
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-hannah-marie.html

Post by Hannah Marie »

Thank you!
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