Quite deceived

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Jaime Lync
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Quite deceived

Post by Jaime Lync »

Mouth full of dirt, itchy throat,
loss for words but even if he could describe this, this…
his swollen tonsils wouldn’t let him speak.
Feeling weak, future’s bleak, refuge he seeks
mind Immersed in simple rhymes, remembering simple times
Learning table manners, two times two gives four
seventy times seven sins against another - still forgiven
but now he...
ate deceptive words
and
fell
speechless
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rssllue
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Post by rssllue »

Interesting change of pace from your other two that I read today. Thus one is sort of rapid fire compared to them. And I also like the biblical parts woven into your poetry. Very cool.
~ occupare fati suffocavit

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety. ~ Psalms 4:8
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Jaime Lync
Posts: 1426
Joined: 15 Mar 2017, 19:33
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 120
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jaime-lync.html
Latest Review: You Are A Christian. NOW WHAT? by James Rondinone

Post by Jaime Lync »

Thanks. I love to reference the scriptures in my poetry or at least get the reader thinking about Truth. I'm glad you liked my poems.
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rssllue
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 50731
Joined: 02 Oct 2014, 01:52
Favorite Author: Ted Dekker
Favorite Book: The Bible
Currently Reading: A Year with C. S. Lewis
Bookshelf Size: 602
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-rssllue.html
Latest Review: My Personal Desert Storm by Marcus Johnson
fav_author_id: 2881

Post by rssllue »

That is awesome! :D
~ occupare fati suffocavit

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety. ~ Psalms 4:8
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