Redemption

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Vivian Paschal
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Redemption

Post by Vivian Paschal »

​Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have,
Redemption songs
_Bob Marley, Redemption song.



Redemption.

It gets heavier by the day; the eyes
The liquid within them; the tears
They've been there since we were born
But we've held them in for so long
How much longer can we last
Enslaved by our minds and thoughts and hurts
We're damaged from the depths
Broken from beneath
But not quite
There's that tiny bit of hope in our will
The drop that creates the way
That instinct for survival
Truth is, we'll never be fully unchained
But we can be redeemed
By that drop, that dream
That desperation for saneness
When we go down in chains
We'll still have that hope for freedom
That tiny space between the chain and the wrist
That bit of redemption.
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QueenAda
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Post by QueenAda »

Quite some letters to ponder on...
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asiangirl22
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Post by asiangirl22 »

hi Vivian,

Check out my version of Redemption... I wrote this like 5 years ago. Not really professionally written, but this is me when bored. I just grab a pen and writes poetry free style. :-)


REDEMPTION
Dawn has kissed the morning goodbye,
How quickly the night passed me by,
Damned everyday in this lonely place,
Looking for comfort in my dying days.

A single man who claims to be happy,
But inside he's fighting for his own sanity,
Hanging on to what's left of him today,
So tomorrow he can dance his life away.

A married man who lost his lust for life,
Is finally leaving the kids and the wife,
He never understood what went wrong,
Except that life now plays a different song.

A young lady who was once a bundle of joy,
Is out there treating people like her toy,
Lost her faith in humanity a long time ago,
She takes what she can take and go.

Abandoned by whom she held dear most,
A single mom has to travel off the coast,
Nowhere to go, nobody else she knew,
Hoping she and her kids will make it through.

A couple grieved for the loss of their child.
Some psycho just went out and fired,
Locked away at the asylum for good but then,
That will never bring back the life he's taken.

My alarm went off, it's quarter to eight,
The morning light has shown its merciful face,
I may be damned but I'm still breathing,
That's more than enough to keep me going...
Vivian Paschal
Posts: 258
Joined: 05 Jan 2017, 02:04
Favorite Author: John Grisham
Currently Reading: Southern Cross
Bookshelf Size: 41
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-vivian-paschal.html
Latest Review: What is priest Nation, The Seed, and the H5G by Herbert Scholes
fav_author_id: 2455

Post by Vivian Paschal »

asiangirl22 wrote:hi Vivian,

Check out my version of Redemption... I wrote this like 5 years ago. Not really professionally written, but this is me when bored. I just grab a pen and writes poetry free style. :-)


REDEMPTION
Dawn has kissed the morning goodbye,
How quickly the night passed me by,
Damned everyday in this lonely place,
Looking for comfort in my dying days.

A single man who claims to be happy,
But inside he's fighting for his own sanity,
Hanging on to what's left of him today,
So tomorrow he can dance his life away.

A married man who lost his lust for life,
Is finally leaving the kids and the wife,
He never understood what went wrong,
Except that life now plays a different song.

A young lady who was once a bundle of joy,
Is out there treating people like her toy,
Lost her faith in humanity a long time ago,
She takes what she can take and go.

Abandoned by whom she held dear most,
A single mom has to travel off the coast,
Nowhere to go, nobody else she knew,
Hoping she and her kids will make it through.

A couple grieved for the loss of their child.
Some psycho just went out and fired,
Locked away at the asylum for good but then,
That will never bring back the life he's taken.

My alarm went off, it's quarter to eight,
The morning light has shown its merciful face,
I may be damned but I'm still breathing,
That's more than enough to keep me going...


HI Asiangirl,
I really like your version of Redemption. It says a lot. Thanks for sharing.
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asiangirl22
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Post by asiangirl22 »

Thanks Vivian! Glad you like it! :-)
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