What's Life?

kirby · Post by **kirby** » 24 Apr 2017, 10:32

Life is full of ups and downs
Some may stand and some may fall,
So have hope and hold on;
And stay strong to whatever your fate may call.
Life is hard before;
And smooth after success,
Everybody have set their goal
But only few may achieve it alone.
Life is full of surprises
Where people may find their prizes,
Not all of them would be rewarded
And pain is what will be added.
Life is a mystery
And one may has to become a detective;
To unlock the history,
And learn the truth about everything.
Life is a burden
For those who are weak
And a garden,
For those who are sweet.
Life may change
According to the way you live,
So have pleasant thoughts and actions;
And you will see the life has new reactions!
You can be the Master
Or you can be the Slave,
So take necessary precautions;
Because Life is full of Options!

Jaime Lync · Post by **Jaime Lync** » 06 May 2017, 10:07

This poem is really good. It started of very lyrical - like could hear the lines been song and then the lyric nature dialed down and it was more like a sage speaking words of hope and wisdom. There was one grammatical error (one may *has) but this did not detract much from the awesomeness of the poem to me. Props to you and thanks for the share.

Tomiwa · Post by **Tomiwa** » 06 May 2017, 18:14

kirby wrote:Life is full of ups and downs
Some may stand and some may fall,
So have hope and hold on;
And stay strong to whatever your fate may call.
Life is hard before;
And smooth after success,
Everybody have set their goal
But only few may achieve it alone.
Life is full of surprises
Where people may find their prizes,
Not all of them would be rewarded
And pain is what will be added.
Life is a mystery
And one may has to become a detective;
To unlock the history,
And learn the truth about everything.
Life is a burden
For those who are weak
And a garden,
For those who are sweet.
Life may change
According to the way you live,
So have pleasant thoughts and actions;
And you will see the life has new reactions!
You can be the Master
Or you can be the Slave,
So take necessary precautions;
Because Life is full of Options!

this is a very good poem but i noticed an error "And one may has to become a detective " it should have been " and one may have to become a detective".and again the writer could have just ended the poem by saying "because life is full of so many options". instead of saying" because life is full of options"

Zzaakkiiyyaa · Post by **Zzaakkiiyyaa** » 05 Jun 2017, 14:40

Very good indeed. There are a few grammatical errors but this didn't detract from the fact the ideas behind the poem are wonderful.

QueenAda · Post by **QueenAda** » 09 Jun 2017, 16:55

Wow I love this piece. Bravo!

ANDREW MBAGO · Post by **ANDREW MBAGO** » 14 Jul 2017, 05:58

I love the message in the poem.Life is full of ups and downs.In line two i suggest that you could have written it this way 'one may fall and one may stand' to make the theme applicable to all mankind.The grammatical error has been corrected by my fellow Writers and Readers.

Keep writing!

Mel528 · Post by **Mel528** » 14 Jul 2017, 17:27

Meaningful poem about life, but i think it somehow lacks parallelism on the use of symbolism/figure if speech ( i.e life is like a burden..... Life is like a garden.... may be... life is like a gloomy forest, a dead river.... but probably the author considered the considered the rhyme)
Overall, the poem is beautiful and meaningful. Thank you author...keep writing!

Vivian Paschal · Post by **Vivian Paschal** » 13 Sep 2017, 06:36

This is a very impactful poem. The beginning was rhythmic too. The few grammatical errors already pointed out by others should be worked on though. Apart from that, it is generally a good poem.