Domestic Silence

[Daniel-book]

My daughter is only in class three,
And she has already mastered the art of silence, she uses it to talk to me,
She uses it to express displeasure in things that I do,
She has vowed never to talk to me again!
She said I am not a good daddy,
Because I beat mummy!

My daughter is only in class three,
And she has already mastered the martial art of Bruce Lee,
Whenever I beat her mother she comes and kicks my knee,
She bites my hands and the Look in her teary eyes stings me like a bee!

My daughter is only in class three,
And she has already known the power of tears, she uses them to silence me,
Whenever I scream at her mother she cries on her behalf, floods of tears running down her small cheeks,
And immediately my tongue ceases to speak!

My daughter is only in class three,
And she thinks I do not deserve to live and walk free,
She says that men like me should be arrested by the police,
And whenever I go to her room to wish her a good night, she refuses my kiss!

My daughter is only in class three,
And she says she hates men,that when a boy approaches her for friendship she will not agree,
My daughter thinks that one day I might beat her,
And so she sleeps with a knife in her drawer,
She says that when she grows up she would like to be a lawyer!

[DATo]

I find this to be a very good, though difficult, poem to read. I cringe at the tragedy being unfolded upon the child as well as the mother and yet cannot look away. Your poem pushes some unusual buttons in the reader which makes it sort of unique to my experience. First of all, most readers tend to unconsciously identify with the narrator, but in this case we want to put a distance between us, and therein is the unexpected harmonic, if also discordant, clash of sentiments which makes this poem so interesting to me.

Very nicely done! It is a brutal but well written story and nicely penned poem. My only criticism might be with the structuring of the sentence - And she says she hates men,that when a boy approaches her for friendship she will not agree - which seems to be a little bit too long and struggling to reach for a rhyme with the words three and agree.

My compliments and thanks for sharing your poem with us.

[Daniel-book]

Oh,thank you for the observations.I will surely improve.

[DATo]

Oh,thank you for the observations.I will surely improve.

My comment about the sentence was hardly worth mentioning. Your poem is very good as it is now.

[Libs_Books]

I find this a very wise and moving poem, as DATo suggests the focus on the child makes it more powerful.

[Daniel-book]

Thank you