To My Ex Husband

Circling Turtle · Post by **Circling Turtle** » 09 Jun 2015, 06:21

Thanks for a powerful poem. It resonates so clearly with the space I am in at the moment, trying to re-establish my identity after leaving a long term relationship. It is so true what you say about the material remains of a relationship. I love the way in which you use internal rhyme and assonance to play with the tempo and guide the reader's experience and interpretation of the poem. I look forward to reading more of your work sometime soon

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » 09 Jun 2015, 09:25

Circling Turtle wrote:Thanks for a powerful poem. It resonates so clearly with the space I am in at the moment, trying to re-establish my identity after leaving a long term relationship. It is so true what you say about the material remains of a relationship. I love the way in which you use internal rhyme and assonance to play with the tempo and guide the reader's experience and interpretation of the poem. I look forward to reading more of your work sometime soon

Thank you very much, Turtle. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope things turn out well for you

Circling Turtle · Post by **Circling Turtle** » 09 Jun 2015, 12:52

Thanks, I'm keeping the sonnets and chucking the rest

keep writing!

kimcormack · Post by **kimcormack** » 09 Jun 2015, 13:44

Awesome posts

Great poem

-- 20 Jun 2015, 15:57 --

I love it

Well done my friend.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » 19 Jul 2015, 21:24

kimcormack wrote:Awesome posts Great poem

-- 20 Jun 2015, 15:57 --

I love it Well done my friend.

Thanks, Kim

DATo · Post by **DATo** » 20 Jul 2015, 02:24

Hello once again ryanj1,

It seems, judging from the number of responses to this thread, that your poem has generated a lot of interest and appreciation from our board members, and deservedly so. In reading your poem once again I was struck by both the objectivity and the sentimental pathos it evokes. It occurred to me that it reminded me of another poem with a similar theme called Lament by one of our American poets, Edna St. Vincent Millay. Both poems deal with loss as well as the material aspects of said loss. Though your poem and Millay's deal with strikingly different types of events, both narrator's display acceptance of the situation in which they find themselves: one by necessity, the other by default .

I don't know if you are familiar with Millay's poem so I will post it below for your consideration. Comparing your poem with Millay's is meant entirely as a compliment as I consider her one of my country's finest poets.

Lament

BY

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Listen, children:
Your father is dead.
From his old coats
I'll make you little jackets;
I'll make you little trousers
From his old pants.
There'll be in his pockets
Things he used to put there,
Keys and pennies
Covered with tobacco;
Dan shall have the pennies
To save in his bank;
Anne shall have the keys
To make a pretty noise with.
Life must go on,
And the dead be forgotten;
Life must go on,
Though good men die;
Anne, eat your breakfast;
Dan, take your medicine;
Life must go on;
I forget just why.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » 25 Jul 2015, 18:29

DATo wrote:Hello once again ryanj1,

It seems, judging from the number of responses to this thread, that your poem has generated a lot of interest and appreciation from our board members, and deservedly so. In reading your poem once again I was struck by both the objectivity and the sentimental pathos it evokes. It occurred to me that it reminded me of another poem with a similar theme called Lament by one of our American poets, Edna St. Vincent Millay. Both poems deal with loss as well as the material aspects of said loss. Though your poem and Millay's deal with strikingly different types of events, both narrator's display acceptance of the situation in which they find themselves: one by necessity, the other by default .

I don't know if you are familiar with Millay's poem so I will post it below for your consideration. Comparing your poem with Millay's is meant entirely as a compliment as I consider her one of my country's finest poets.

Lament

BY

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Listen, children:
Your father is dead.
From his old coats
I'll make you little jackets;
I'll make you little trousers
From his old pants.
There'll be in his pockets
Things he used to put there,
Keys and pennies
Covered with tobacco;
Dan shall have the pennies
To save in his bank;
Anne shall have the keys
To make a pretty noise with.
Life must go on,
And the dead be forgotten;
Life must go on,
Though good men die;
Anne, eat your breakfast;
Dan, take your medicine;
Life must go on;
I forget just why.

Thank you so much, DATo. That is indeed a compliment and I'm so happy that my poem is enjoyed by others. I certainly see similarities between the two poems and I love Millay's. I had heard of her, but I'd never read any of her poems. Thank you for sharing

stanley · Post by **stanley** » 20 Nov 2015, 17:10

I thought this a very effective poem, one that a reader might go back to several times. I like the kind of oblique portrait of the ex husband. The precise alignment of books on the shelves, the silverware, the carefully folded towel and the tidy embrace of the two shoes hint at a strong, perhaps rigid personality, self contained. and maybe a little domineering.
The poetic voice here seems to at once, affectionate, mildly resentful and self deprecating. It's as if the subject acknowledges things imposed, (" ... kept gestures ..." " ... My hands are not my own ..." "... my language is yours..." In sum to me the poem suggests how much is lost and gained in a complex relationship that for all its ambivalent feelings becomes too painful to maintain. The poem suggests more than this, I'm sure, to other readers and will to me also, perhaps, on subsequent readings

Sophieangelica777 · Post by **Sophieangelica777** » 24 Dec 2015, 15:16

The broken punctuation I found to be extremely disconcerting, almost akwardly uncomfortable. Perfect.

GirlAloneWithHerself · Post by **GirlAloneWithHerself** » 28 Dec 2015, 11:22

ryanj1 wrote:Hey, people! I wrote this last year and it's my favourite poem. Please let me know what you think!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

To My Ex Husband,

I notice the books on the shelf aligned
To the edge. The knives, forks and spoons
All know their place. The towels hang folded
On the radiator, and shoes embrace. I catch
Words from my mouth like insects
And bottle them up:
Puerile, selfish, neglectful --
All yours. I kept the gestures you gave me.
My hands are not my own; my language
Is yours -- they go in the box. A break.
You said to try two sugars instead of one --
The second still makes it the more sweet.
The music … I hated jazz before its swing
Propelled me into your stride. You hated opera.
I never loved poetry, but to you I address this.
The book of sonnets will stay -- the rest will go.
Your clothes, pictures, jewellery, sprays, films,
Gadgets -- all in the box. The sonnets will stay.

By ryanj1

This poem is absolutely incredible! I love it. It's a subtle dance between disliking the ex and appreciating everything that he has given.

Girl.

katygardengal · Post by **katygardengal** » 29 Feb 2016, 13:23

Wow! Very nice! I have a box of "sentimental items" from my ex along with his love letters, pics of us, etc. I don't know why I hold on to them, we've been divorced for a LONG time. I guess to treasure the good times we had that were part of my life and that have helped made me who I am today. He and I still great friends and both of us have remarried other people and move on . . . but I'm sure I still have that box somewhere in storage.

emmadickson · Post by **emmadickson** » 25 Oct 2016, 10:17

I remember this feeling for months or at the time felt like never ending nothingness. Everything reminded me of him, everything smelt of him, our song has never been played ever since. But you start to spring clean and I felt my life come back together.

Ljessup · Post by **Ljessup** » 03 Nov 2016, 10:28

This is an amazing piece. I absolutely love it! The images you painted with your words are so vivid. I can see each area you describe. I can see the folded towels and the cutlery in it's proper place. I see the perfection radiating throughout the house yet void of what it needs to make the thought match the definition! I can see you drinking your coffee or tea and applying your sugar. I can almost reach out and touch the books that are on the shelves with how vividly you described their placement. My favorite images would have to be the one you painted about the shoes embracing, and catching your words in your mouth like insects. Powerful words to hold a powerful meaning, and the diction portrays the imbalance of this barley surviving "box" perfectly. Amazing job and would love to read more of your work!

Latoshia