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"Description Of First Love"

The most fairest star in all heaven,
with rosy cheeks and rosy lips,
with great smile as Monalisa
How great thee,my dear.

Your eyes twinkling in the sky,
as twilight brings you mine.
If this time will say goodbye
Hope to see you at the right time.

The poem has a nice start but the description to me isn't really one that is down to earth as it did make me aware of how you felt but it didn't touch my heart. I think you need to think about how the person you love makes you feel. As you describe the features as you said your eyes twinkling in the sky.... They make me all tingly as twilight brings you mine.

Ghad. I love it

Congratulations! Love has always been a central theme in poertry.
I think people should try and write a bit each day and get their creativity flowing! This is a lovely poem!

Short poem but it has a good mening. Fairest star indicate your first love. You have to try more soft with a great feelings that , make more perfect of your 1st love description.

Short poem but it has a good morning. I love it! ❤

Thank you for the feedback.I will try to improve my writing skills.

Jennifer Parado wrote: ↑03 Apr 2019, 20:11 "Description Of First Love"

The most fairest star in all heaven,
with rosy cheeks and rosy lips,
with great smile as Monalisa
How great thee,my dear.

Your eyes twinkling in the sky,
as twilight brings you mine.
If this time will say goodbye
Hope to see you at the right time.

I'm back from vacation,
a long time indeed.
Scampering to your doorstep,
I miss our favorite wine.
It's time to dine with you,
I'm seeing you at the right time.

It's a lovely start and it is difficult to judge poetry except I think the reader should get some emotion from it. I like the part about saying goodbye and calling this person 'most fairest star'. Thank you for sharing your poem, have a lovely day.