Stuck in a loop.

[ncoard]

I close the car door and watch you walk away. Step by step getting closer to a place I wish you didn’t have to be. I try to find solace in the fact you won’t be there forever, that there’s a place for you to go if the hand around your throat gets too tight, that I get to be that place more often than not.

Step by step you walk toward the train and I hope the train refuses to go, I hope it screeches to a halt before you can get too far, that the string tied around both our heart tugs so tight that it forces the whole world to stop around it. I wish love had that power. I wish my love could hold you tight enough that you can’t leave.

But the car starts, the train goes, you fade into the distance and so do I. The world is cruel like that. Life is cruel like this.

We do this over and over, my love. Week after week. I feel as if one second, I’m holding onto you so tight, and the next, you’re slipping through them like sand, and I’m left grasping at the air, begging for it to bring you back.

For a little while, you’re safe. For a little while, I have you. For a little while, you’re mine and only mine, and nothing can hurt you because I won’t let it. I find myself dreading the end of this every time, despite knowing you’ll always return to me. I only know this because you promised, your pinky finger hooked around mine, our foreheads pressed together, whispering that you loved me and there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

I trust that you’ll always come back to me safely, despite knowing the truth, despite knowing about the war zone you’re about to step into.

Maybe they were right when they said love makes us foolish, maybe I’m just a love-struck fool holding onto hope I probably shouldn’t have. But do.

I wonder if you know that you’re the one that gives me that hope.

[maggi3]

This is beautifully written and heartbreaking. I could feel the anxiety and hope in the words, but I like that hope is the central theme. Thanks for sharing!

[beccabecky]

Congratulations! I think people should try and write a bit each day and get their creativity flowing! This is a lovely poem!