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She's In My Head

What does happy feel like
It's been so long I forgot
Hiding years cause I couldn't be caught
Late nights up in my room
Hiding all the pain out of view
What ever is happiness even like

She's in my head
Just a product of all the lies
The way I never did anything right
She's in my head
Reminding you think I'm not enough
For all the fights i never got love
She's in my head

What does happy feel like
Ten years old and already giving in
Being told she ought to be thin
Skipping meal when no one's watching
It's the pain that's deciding
What ever is happiness even like

She's in my head
Controlling my thoughts
A product of what I'm taught
She's in my head
Reminds me I'm alone
Inside my fleece coat is my safe zone
She's in my head

What does happy feel like
Fifteen and I wanted to run away
It was so painful just to stay
Maybe if I had a baby
Some boy would come save me
What is happiness even like

She's in my head
She feeds off of rejection
I had no emotional protection
She's in my head
I'd do anything just to get some rest
Even if it's not what's best
She's in my head

What does happy feel like
Eighteen and forced to settle
Gave up on dreams after the battle
Slipping and starving trying to cope
Barely alive and losing hope
What is happiness even like

She's in my head
It took eight years but she's got a name
With ana my life isn't the same
She's in my head
Years of abuse
Therapy is long overdue
She's in my head

She's in my head
Tried as she but I'm not dead
Alive and I'm strong
Learning that they were wrong
She's in my head
But I'm winning this fight

This was very powerful to read! I loved the refrain and the way you used the line "she's in my head" and they way that nothing was obviously stated but little hints were dropped throughout

Slipping and starving trying to cope
Barely alive and losing hope

Powerful lines.

I really feel this one. Good rhythm and rhymes. A message of hope and never giving up. Thank you for sharing.