OnlineBookClub.org

The spark of a word slivers out of my throat
Ending in beautiful agony.
Eyes a murky grey riddled with drowning ember

A quiet whisper
A tearful gasp
A wonderful cry
And an eye rests in my palm,
Unblinking,

Still.

A burning chuckle creeps from my throat
Ashes
Ashes
We all fall down

Good work.

I like this. It denotes pain in making speech happen with words like sliver, burning, and ashes. Dark and concise, a little diamond in the rough.

The way you punctuated it though might look accidental, and it kinda threw me off a couple times focusing more on that than in the message. Good job though.

I liked this quite dark but powerful.

Wonderful prose. Thank you, I enjoy your work immensely.

Truly enjoyed the poem. I like the melancholy in it. Well delivered.

I like this, it evokes a private scene almost becoming surreal.