TAKE ME BACK TO THE DAYS

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Adeyemi Oba
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TAKE ME BACK TO THE DAYS

Post by Adeyemi Oba »

Take me back to the tale time
When summer opens its wings with good tide
A time when winter is greeted with soft mime
And at a glance of spring, on a horse we ride

Dry season we fully anticipate its heat
From rainy season we earnestly await it

Take me back to the dance days
When cultural values are held in high esteem
But unfortunately nowadays
Everything burns out like a steaming steam

Sitting silently on the solid sand
All we could calmly do is wailingly watch
The rupture culture dissolve with sound
Without a clarion call response to the touch
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nicole-adrianne
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Post by nicole-adrianne »

I like the rhythm of this, but I don't really understand the phrases "tale time" or the comparison of winter to a "soft mime".
* * *
One feels like a duck, splashing around in all this wet. And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!
Latest Review: Chubby Wubbles by M. J. Abrams
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Tobewankenobe
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Post by Tobewankenobe »

This poem has good flow.
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