Crocodile Tears

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
Post Reply
User avatar
bush reads
Posts: 35
Joined: 03 Apr 2019, 06:05
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 13
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bush-reads.html
Latest Review: The Poison Profession by Rachel Wright

Crocodile Tears

Post by bush reads »

If you told me that the world will end in ten seconds starting from now:
(ten)
I'd smile so much that you'd feel uncomfortable to even look at me. Trust me, I'd try to wipe it off my face, but I'd fail.
(nine)
I'd notice your reaction then burst out laughing. I wouldn't want to.
(eight)
You'd ask me what's wrong. You'd ask me what's so funny. I'd want to tell you except it'd take more than ten seconds and so I'd give up on that.
(seven)
My anxiety would whisper in my ears,
"You've been pathetic your entire life. Even in your last few seconds in this world, it is all that you can afford to be. Funny, innit? "
I'd laugh like some maniac. I'd be the maniac.
(six)
You'd shake your head and then proceed to leave me alone.
(five)
My laughter would sink into silence.
(four)
My smile would shrink into a sad one. The arrival of sadness has always been a relief for me.
(three)
I'd finally cry.
(two)
I think I'd weep.
(one)
The final second would stretch as long as my entire life. The only memory repeatedly playing inside my mind would be a compilation of all the times they asked me to save my crocodile tears for someone else.
I think my last words would be,
"I saved them for myself."
DyanaFl
Posts: 266
Joined: 18 Jul 2020, 09:29
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 70
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-dyanafl.html
Latest Review: Like Glass by Sylvia Wilde

Post by DyanaFl »

Woahhhh!!! That's really great! And it is pretty relatable somehow. Thanks for sharing this.
User avatar
bookklub
Posts: 6
Joined: 19 Dec 2021, 14:37
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by bookklub »

I'd love to listen to this poem performed as a duologue. For me, it displays such an emotional roller-coaster.
Well done.
User avatar
Avishi
Posts: 445
Joined: 15 Sep 2021, 01:07
Currently Reading: all body bags and no knickers
Bookshelf Size: 108
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-avishi.html
Latest Review: Wisdom by Arun mago
Reading Device: Pdf

Post by Avishi »

Your poem is very insightful. I enjoyed your poem. Great lines and your way of thinking is appreciated. 👌 Even I started to think what would I do in this 10 seconds. 👏👍great work.
Latest Review: Wisdom by Arun mago
Lopee
Posts: 15
Joined: 17 Jan 2022, 12:38
Currently Reading: The Prodigy Slave, Book One: Journey to Winter Garden
Bookshelf Size: 11

Post by Lopee »

Great poem, I wish it can be acted like a stage drama to me, the poem is exceptional..I give kudos to the writer
User avatar
POETIC PACIFIC
Posts: 96
Joined: 17 Dec 2021, 21:09
Favorite Book: The Illuminati Conspiracy
Currently Reading: The Poetic Pacific
Bookshelf Size: 220

Post by POETIC PACIFIC »

Great poetry, I like it. Yes like a stage drama or something.
a musical mind!
User avatar
rebel reads
Posts: 5
Joined: 01 Aug 2021, 02:44
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by rebel reads »

wowwww the anxiety part had me because i suffer from it and it’s like to see a stranger have the same kind of thoughts as you is very interesting to me . i enjoyed the suspense. The thought is so original i loved it !
Sherry Barrow
Posts: 13
Joined: 15 Sep 2022, 07:27
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Sherry Barrow »

Wow! I totally was taken aback and slapped upside the head all at once! Probably one of only 7 poems in my long life to imprint my spirit with a lightening flash and leave behind such an impact on my brain.
Wow! Just, wow! I mean, ...WOW!
Fantastic job! Never saw it coming. A forever moment. I have to go back and read it again.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Poetry”