Unwanted Treasure

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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MrsTurner2013
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Unwanted Treasure

Post by MrsTurner2013 »

I have been tossing around the idea of posting this poem. It is the first one I have written and it is the depths of my heart. I am not use to my feelings being laid out for all to see. I wrote it a few months ago and I wish to share it. So...here it goes:

Unwanted Treasure

Beauty that surpasses all,
Priceless commodity to recall.
Shining bright and full of gleam,
Patiently waiting to be seen.

Placed in the hands, it sparks with joy.
"Finally a home, where love and care employ!"
With happiness and trust, the house it enters.
The door shut so hard, it splinters

Anger and hate greet it's face,
It's thrown into an empty space.
In the dark, cold and alone, it cries,
Wondering "Would anyone care if it dies?"

Taken out only to be used,
It goes back feeling immensely abused.
Where is the love and care?
It sadly realizes, was never there.

Wondering each day what went wrong,
Twenty years it stays in the throng.
"When will this end?" Asking the powers that be,
For this unwanted treasure, after all, is me.

Again, I remind readers this is my first poem. I know it is not perfect. Please be kind in your responses to this post. Thank you!
DyanaFl
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Post by DyanaFl »

That is actually pretty good for a first poem!! It is not easy to construct a poem with rhyme scheme like that.
And um, I don't know if I can say this but please don't consider yourself as an unwanted treasure. Anyone who can write like that is really worth respect!
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MrsTurner2013
Posts: 90
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Post by MrsTurner2013 »

DyanaFl wrote: 09 Oct 2020, 11:06 That is actually pretty good for a first poem!! It is not easy to construct a poem with rhyme scheme like that.
And um, I don't know if I can say this but please don't consider yourself as an unwanted treasure. Anyone who can write like that is really worth respect!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I teared up a little when I read your response. Respect is something that I have only recently come to realize needed to be expected from other people. I have spent so long just allowing people to walk all over me, as a result of aspects in this poem, that I only started standing up for myself and my needs or opinions in the last year or so. It is, in fact, one of the reasons I joined this website. I not only love to read, but this gives me a platform to express my opinions and feelings and I know they will be respected. I want you to know how much your words touched my heart. I express with the deepest of gratitude: Thank you!
DyanaFl
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Post by DyanaFl »

That's great!I'm glad it touched you. You won't be given respect in this world unless you demand it and force people to recognize you for whatever you are. I hope you do even better. Don't know if I should say good luck but good luck!
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