Forest Poem

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AlexNeb
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Forest Poem

Post by AlexNeb »

This is something I wrote that helps me relax and cool off. It's kind of rough around the edges and probably not that poetic, more of a chant really.

I am a Great Gray Stone.
I am a Great Gray Stone. Standing in the centre of a clearing.
I am a Great Gray Stone. Standing in the centre of a clearing. In the middle of a Forest.
I am a Great Gray Stone. Standing in the centre of a clearing. In the middle of a Forest. Golden Yellow Leaves fall about me.
I am a Great Gray Stone. Standing in the centre of a clearing. In the middle of a Forest. Golden Yellow Leaves fall around me. Vines of Emerald Green twining around me.
I am a Great Gray Stone. Standing in the centre of a clearing. In the middle of a Forest. Golden Yellow Leaves fall around me. Vines of Emerald Green twining around me. A Brook of Crystal Clear water Gurgles at my feet.


That's all I have for now. However I'd like to add more about where I am and the surrounding areas. I just can't think of anything more. I'm also torn between keeping the place as a Forest or turning it into the Woods. Appreciate any feedback and/or criticism.
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

@AlexNeb

Very interesting structure!

Actually, as I was reading this I had the sensation of a movie camera in very close focus to a boulder and gradually backing away to reveal the other elements in the scene. I don't think I have ever encountered this device in any other poem I have ever read. Nicely done!!!
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Post by Susan Gibbs »

I enjoyed your poem. i like how the image of the stone gradually expands to include all the other images. I can see how it would help you calm down and centre yourself. Well done and thank you for sharing. I think I will try a chant to lessen anxiety.
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Avishi
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Post by Avishi »

I like your idea how your lines gradually increases. From the lyrics I understand how beautiful your place is. Keep writing more about your place.
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