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Than We Ever

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 17:26
by Scott
I wrote this today. Let me know what you think!


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When my brain starts to slip
And my body's not so fit

Maybe I'll be more me than I ever was

When wrinkles most distort my face
So much one can't even recognize it

Maybe you'll see me more than you ever did

As the big house crumbles
And the shades fall down
As the cold breeze gets in
And the locks give out

Maybe I'll be more home than I ever was

When the body fades
And the ashes fly
And all that's left
Is the memory

Maybe I'll be with you more than I ever was



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Image

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 21:16
by Reva Parker
I like it, but it's kind of sad too. Too often I think we're so busy trying to make the outside look good, we forget about the inside. Also, the last part reminds me of my mom. She's 91 and has dementia. She has good days and bad days, but the memories of how she was sometimes hit me hard.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 22:53
by mrlefty0706
I had to stop and think about each one except the last one since cremation may be the last act but if a loved one keeps the ashes they will think about you whenever they walk into the room where the urn is displayed.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 14 Oct 2022, 04:40
by GorgeousRen
This made me emotional.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 14 Oct 2022, 08:44
by bibimahkh1960
We are, indeed, much more than our physical selves, especially our external appearances. Strip away all the facades to understand who we truly are.

I like it, Scott!

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 14 Oct 2022, 16:25
by Stephanie Runyon
Truth shows in this; people don't think about others as much when they are alive. However, upon death, we gather and think of the person because we can no longer see them physically.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 18 Oct 2022, 10:11
by Asma Aisha Ansari
I don't why but these lines reminded me of One Hundred Years of Solitude.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 18 Oct 2022, 13:43
by Ameen Rizq
Though the sadness it conveys to a reader, but it urges the one to do good deeds during his life so that others will remember him with kindness after his death.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 26 Nov 2022, 09:56
by G D H
Some say it takes being to be, others say it takes doing to be. One thing I know is man cannot always do, but he can always be. Those who can outsee the mortality of everyone else and their own are rare and blessed indeed. Man’s gratitude and memory are short-lived—neither can be counted on. What, I wonder, is the greatest good a man can do in his lifetime for all mankind? And why, I ask, do we all share a common fear of being forgotten someday after our demise?

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 15 Dec 2022, 18:18
by MnRen91
This is beautiful. It reminds me of patients I worked with when I first started nursing and the rare lucid moments when they would realize what was going on. Reading this I felt my heart grip. The words almost felt haunted, but I loved it!

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 09 Jan 2023, 20:24
by Ma Leonarda Castañares
This piece HURTS.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 29 May 2025, 22:46
by Jessica Woods 3
I don’t want to be old and wrinkly before someone values me. I don’t want to be old and ungrateful for the people who love me.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 30 May 2025, 01:57
by Seetha E
A reminder to live in the present and treat the people around you as if there is no tomorrow...

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 30 May 2025, 20:10
by Sushan Ekanayake
This is so beautifully haunting. It reminds me that our truest selves often emerge when life’s walls crumble. Aging, change, loss—they strip away the noise and reveal what truly matters.

Re: Than We Ever

Posted: 21 Jun 2025, 06:14
by mrlefty0706
Hi Scott,

You are a gifted poet and writer. Since I am almost 73 I will be long gone before you reach old age. You have not even achieved the mid-point of your life and I hope you live into your 90s and the OBC has 20 million members. Like your other poems and books, readers need to stop and think about the message or read it multiple times. I hope you publish all of your poems in a future book.

Mrlefty0706