Are You Happy Now by Deborah Van Norden

[Deborah_Van_Norden]

Are You Happy Now?

Not a day goes by that
I don't think of you.
They're not happy thoughts.
I would never think of flattering you.
I think about that summer.
The coldness of our house
Because the air was too low,
Being pregnant and bipolar at the same time.
I wouldn't do that again if somebody paid me.
I remember the way you treated me.
Disappearing every chance you got,
Refusing to answer your phone,
Leaving me hanging
Night after miserable night.
It's a horrible thing,
Waiting up for someone
Who isn't going to come home.
I remember well the constant worry,
The anxiety, the fear.
Not understanding the things you did.
I think of you mostly at night,
When I lay my head on my pillow
And play Solitaire in the dark.
And that is when the images come.
Now words exist to express
The misery, the angst,
The pain that you caused me.
I never want to see you again,
Never want to hear your voice,
Never want to hear you laugh,
Or look at you
Because you ruined my life.
You took something from me
That can never be replaced.
Possessions can be replaced.
Lost momentos live on in my memory.
But my trust in mankind
Will never be returned to me.
You are cold-hearted,
Ruining lives for your own gain,
Leaving in your wake broken lives
And broken people.
So I won't cry over you,
Remembering your face and the things - the lies -
That I loved about you,
For you are a lie.
Those things only make me sad,
Almost sick.
No, I won't cry over you.
I only cry about how badly you broke me.
Are you happy now?

[Christina O Phillips]

Very harsh, bitter, but I love it.
My favorite bit of the beginning is
"They're not happy thoughts.
I would never think of flattering you."
I enjoyed some of the line breaks, though some of them maybe could use some tweaking.