Did it have to be this way!!!

[Janet Wangari 1]

How I remember that day, that moment,
That time we finally met,
That moment when my eyes met yours and yours met mine,
I remember how my legs were shaking,
How I could not even type your number in my phone,
I remember that feeling as if it was yesterday.

How about the first time you held me in your arms,
I felt so safe in them, I felt so home,
You gave me a reason to want to live,
You assured me I would find love again,
You gave me hope, you are the reason I chose to stay,
That feeling kept me going.

Not until that night, that night that things went sideways,
That night I don't know what button I pressed in you,
The bitter you, the angry you, showed up from nowhere,
The way you reacted made me scared of you,
But you know what! I couldn't stay away from you,
Why? You made me fall for you.

No matter how hard I tried to stay away I always found myself coming back,
What we hard was special and I know you knew that,
and I guess you were afraid of what that would turn out to be,
Because maybe to you this was just a game, and in the game you fell for me too.

I begged for you not to leave,
I didn't know how to survive without you,
You gave me a chance to be a person again,
So how was I to live without you,
But I guess it didn't matter to you because you left,
You just had to shut me off with no explanation,
You broke me and you know that and this time it hurt like hell.

How many calls did I call?
How many messages did I leave?
How many times did I come looking for you?
But everything changed that moment I saw you again,
How happy you pretended to be,
The excitement I had to see you again just disappeared at that moment,
And there and then I knew I had to leave,
I had to find myself just like you seemed to have,
It was clear that you were just a passing wave,
It was clear you were never mine and trust me,
Nothing hurts more than falling for someone who will never be yours no matter how hard you try.