At the shops

[Barney56]

In and out the supermarkets
up and down the aisles
with trolley, kids and pushchair
she walks for miles and miles
with one eye on the prices
and one eye on the weans
bargain basement burgers
and tesco value beans
half-price bread that's not quite fresh
she can't afford too much
the phone bill's due, the mortgage too
the car needs a new clutch
the kids are wanting this and that
they drive her off her nut
she'll buy 'em sweets and comics
just to shut the buggers up
searching through the wine display
her eyes light up with glee
they've made her an offer she can't refuse
buy one get one free.

-- 16 Aug 2015, 00:03 --

Actually it's called 'shopping'..but for some reason I wasn't allowed to use that as a title..no, me neither...

[DATo]

Loved it !!!! A fun read and very well presented. The rhyme was not forced but fluid and totally apropos. I think you quite perfectly captured the pace and psyche of a mother on a shopping errand with attendant children. I can see why she needs the wine *LOL*

Personally I like the title At The Shops better.

This was a delight to read. Please post more!

A very mild suggestion with regard to the meter of the last sentence :

buy one and get one free

[Barney56]

Thanks very much dato...don't suppose the title matters, I just couldn't work out what the problem was...I will post more, but some of them have sweary words in..this forum seems very strict about that for some reason.
Yeah..I took the 'and' out deliberately cos I thought it worked better without it, the way I heard it in my head. If I were reciting it i'd definitely leave out 'and'...oh, can I nudge you in the direction of my hero, John Cooper Clarke..you'll find lots of footage on youtube. You probably never heard of him over in the USA..he's from Manchester, he's old now and has had an 'interesting' life.
p.s. I don't know what 'apropos' means haha!