The Unburdening

[Vino Subramoney]

The Unburdening

The embers of his passion lay in tatters
He looks around in shock
He tries to scoop the tatters to himself
But it keeps slipping away
Slivers of light shine through his terror
It lay all around him

He helped himself to the pain
Much as he could handle
It was the one thing they could not control

He grinned, he laughed manically
Then he screamed over and over and over again

He was like a dying man gulping for air
The pain rolled over him in waves
His daily dose being well and truly over

He lay down on the dank wet concrete
Wiping spittle from the corners of his mouth
He looked around and then almost in glee
He ran his tongue over the floor
It bled as he continued dragging it on the jagged concrete
Licking at the water

He bit into his hand
As hard as he could
He just wanted to feel
Something, anything
He bit again into his hands disturbing the scabs, the blood ran freely
So did the pain
He watched with jaundiced eyes
As the blood and water seemed to merge as
It ran off together to join the dirt in the drain

Pain was the only thing at hand at the moment
The sound in his head like the engine room of a ship
Getting louder and louder

He had no care in the world
All having left him now
He was just a hollow
Grubby hands had reached into him
And stolen his dreams
He had no care in the world, none
All having left him
He was just a hollow again

The sound of laughter and music was all around him
But he stopped hearing it a long time ago
The churning in his mind worked furiously
To keep everything else away

He breaks out into a song
He whispers it with his broken tongue
“I want to remove the hurt from your eyes
And the pain from your soul
I want to paint on your breath
And make you whole
I want to remove the emptiness of your touch
Oh I miss you so much”

The words whistle through his cracked teeth
The song soon ends
The screaming begins and continues until it is a hoarse choke
He is broken
He looked around with despair
Despair and abandon
He took little sips of fear
Fearful to be too greedy now

Thoughts of jumping out of his life flittered past sweetly
But it was out of his reach
He had promised himself he will bear this and he would
He continues keening, his body gnarled and bent
His form looks like a little heap
A sack of dirt
That Nobody Dare Notice